What IS radiation really?

Sorry I have not provided a good update of this radiation experience. Let me catch you up. First of all, I have 3 left including Wed, Thurs, Fri this week at 9:30am each morning. It has been Mon-Fri at 9:30 ish every day. I may have tried to run you over on the way to these appointments, my apologies if you saw me coming in your mirror! Ha!

So, radiation involves, first, parking. then walking through the garden flowers that are about 3 feet tall on either side of the sidewalk and then opening the heavy handicap doors, barreling in and being greeted by a woman who calls me "Precious" and she lets the technicians know I have arrived. I go through the main waiting room into a door that leads to dressing rooms to change and another waiting area with a tv, for those of us in our gowns. I go in the dressing room and change and come out to sit with my gown on. Often, there is someone there to visit with. Through this process, I have met several people. We all discuss our cancer as if we are discussing what we had for dinner last night. We support each other. Butch likes to hug. :)

 There is a ringer that goes off and they call my name. I walk down the hallway, pass the dressing rooms and turn to the right down another short hallway where there are side rooms equipped with very expensive and large medical devices. I continue to walk through the steel doorway (the door is approx. 5'w x 8'h), then down the ramp into this room that has been built for this radiation deal. I come to a hard table where I lie down. They set up my custom made head rest so to keep my head exactly in the right place every time, not for my comfort.

Because they are radiating under my arm and chest wall, my positioning is set just so with my left arm over my head on rests and my right arm to my side with my head turned. I get to face the computers so that I can see all of the calculations that apply to me. These calculations include exposure to the radiation, amount of electrons released, x y coordinates lined up that match the stickers on my body, table placement, and more that looks very complicated to understand.  Everything has to be perfect.  The technicians will ever so slightly adjust my body so that it lines up just perfect. 

The country music is usually on in the background.  The lights dim when they are setting me up for my treatment.  It takes about 10 minutes total.  There are 3 times that I am adjusted by the technicians and the radiation machine flies overhead to just the right spot each time.  Each time, the technicians leave the room and I hear a buzz coming out of the machine.  Each buzz approximately 20-30 seconds.  I don’t feel anything at all.  The machine doesn’t touch me.  It simply sends out beams that radiate the skin.  Now I am 30 treatments in and my skin is very red and peeling now.  I am a little uncomfortable, my reach is limited, but overall I am doing well.  I am working a lot and I don’t feel as tired as some people going through radiation.  I could use a nap from time to time, but who here could not use a nap from time to time!?  I am exhausted as I write this, but it is 11:22pm.

I am feeling much more normal.  I still am wearing my hair even though I have a good helmet head of hair.  I am losing a little weight.  I need to get out and walk/run more.  We are days out from sending our son to kindergarten and getting on a whole new schedule.  So, here we go with another new normal! J
 
I pray for you all of the time and I appreciate your prayers for me- they have been working!!  I am cancer free and can move forward when I get done here!  I have truly felt the love you have poured out over me.  Whether through a card, or through a prayer or a thought, I feel so loved!

I’ll keep posting here.  I will have more updates as I will be starting Tamoxifen after radiation.  We can welcome the hot flashes back, together!  And that will be for 5 years, yes, 5 years- menopausal symptoms.  I have got to work on my sense of humor!  I could be likely to hurt somebody, especially slow drivers.  HA!  Pray for patience and lots of humor, again, who couldn’t use more of that in their life! J

Lots of love! Amanda

The Chair

At this moment, I am sitting in the spot where I felt the breast cancer myself for the first time and realized breast cancer could be a reality for me that was confirmed 24 hours later. This is my view. This was exactly 7 months ago to the day and time (Monday 11/01 2:15pm) that I sit here now (Monday 7/02 2:15pm). Wow. Thank you God for letting me sit in this chair many months later! This feels very significant to me right now. I'm just taking it in.