11 Years!

 Another year has passed by and it is now 11 years since I was first diagnosed with breast cancer.  That is another 365 days that God gave me.  Thankful does not even begin to describe how I feel on this day.  To be given another day, not to mention another year, cancer free is a blessing beyond measure.  

The ever looming CT scan is still every 3 months, my next one is Nov 18th.  This has continued for the last 6 years since diagnosis number 2.  The feeling of gratitude to be cancer free is like renewing another 3 months of a new lease on life.

While I am grateful for each day, my question to myself in this 5 minutes of reflection is what can make me a better person? I think it is just telling someone nice things, giving compliments, encouraging someone, doing something nice for someone, positivity.  Simple kind words and actions can make the biggest difference to someone.  This is the person I want to be and I don't do it enough.  I will work on it...

In the meantime, cheers! Here's to 11 years.  Thank YOU for following me, supporting me, encouraging me.  I will pay it forward!

Love to you and to all out there in this world! 

Amanda

10 YEARS!!!!!

 Today marks 10 years since I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Still in regular treatments and always will be…currently cancer free!!! Thankful for the last 10 years of great memories with my family and friends. Thank you for your support over the years!  Beyond blesed, happy and grateful! 💞

October 2020- No news is great news!

 Hi,

It's been a while since I have posted!  No news is great news! I have had clear scans and continue to do treatments every three weeks and they are certainly doing their job.  I was in getting treatment on this past Monday and my oncologist was very happy about her previous patient who was telling her that her daughter is getting married.  This patient has been under care since her daughter was a teenager.  I was so elated for this patient and for my doctor.  These are the success stories we hope and pray for.  

When I started this journey, my son was 4 years old.  My goal was to be here long enough to parent him until I felt like he could live in this world on his own in all those good ways that you want for your children.  There are morals and values we want for our children.  I wanted Jack to have a heart for others, to know how to give and not always receive, to learn to trust God in everything, to be helpful rather than hurtful, to not always take the easy road, to know how to explain how he feels, to know how to be heard but to listen, to know how to cope, to know how to inspire goodness, to know how to be funny without being stupid.  In some ways, I feel like I arrived there now that he is 13 as of August.  Now, I feel like he kind of is on his own, navigating it all and now he just needs practice.  My next goal is to see him drive at 16 and watch him continue to grow to into a good man with all of those amazing foundational qualities.  He should be a real catch! HA! Then, and only then, maybe I will see him on his wedding day and marry the woman I have been praying for since the day I gave birth to him.  That is such a sweet goal.

I am coming upon 9 years in this journey on November 3rd.  I will be 5 years in May since my second diagnosis.  Today, I regularly live free of fear and doubt.  Periodically, I will wrestle with it, think too hard about it, but then I move on pretty quickly.  I guess we could all do that.  Question ourselves if we are living our best life.  I think that is appropriate regardless of who you are and what you are going through.  Especially in the middle of this pandemic and all that comes with that.  Just live the best life you can possibly live.  That is the best goal.

I appreciate those of you who stick by me, pray for me, and who care for me.  You are my true friends, my true family.  I can't account for each of you, because I write this on a blank white space and don't really expect or even hope someone is reading this.  I just do it and maybe one or two of you are there with me and thank you for that. :)  

It is October and that is Breast Cancer Awareness month.  I am signed up to participate in a fundraiser for American Cancer Society- Power of Pink.  Please feel free to donate to my page, or not.

There was an update in June 2020 that my oncologist at Lexington Clinic is all now part of the University of Kentucky Markey Cancer Center network.  This provides access to new information, trial drugs, etc.  I am pretty excited about this update.

Until next time... and live your best life!

Thank you, 

Amanda

Summer 2019

Hi!
For those of you who know me, you know I like to tell stories in detail. That is one of the reasons why I like this blog. I can write about whatever and whenever I want, in however much detail I want. The moral of the story is that I don’t write enough. LOL It’s therapeutic for me.

I have been wanting to write this blog since May 30, 2019. That was my three year anniversary of my second diagnosis.  I am so blessed to be living this life by the grace of God. This is definitely a journey because initially you think life is over as you know it, and that’s not always the case, such as my case.

 It’s interesting to look back and reflect on the last almost 8 years that I have been doing this. When it began, my son Jack was four years old and we were talking about having tea parties with Mommy when she’s sick. He is now almost 12 years old. I’ll tell you a good story...

We were traveling the other day and stayed at a Hampton Inn next-door to the Cleveland Clinic. I pointed at it and told him that when I had to deal with the cancer again and need more help, that this is where I would come. He shook his head and followed it without question. Previously I would have only been able to tell him something like this with big tears and with a fearful heart. Today I can speak to him with confidence and with little fear. This is God’s work in me. So two things, I know I am less fearful than ever, and secondly it’s proof that God is doing great things in me and for me. Now can I say this because of course everything is easier said than done?  I don’t know. I just know to not question it and leave it alone.

Right now, I know that I am here and living my life as it should be. I have never been so settled in my purpose. I used to question it all of the time when I was younger. I even started to think that life would always be in turmoil because it’s a trick and you never really do find purpose. But it was found for me and I am thankful for that.

There are some people who continue to wear a pink bracelet with “Amanda’s Army of Angels” on it. Day after day, they put it on their wrist. I see the bracelet and I smile so grateful. I feel so indebted to them and their commitment to seeing me thru this. But then God says Amanda- you don’t have to do anything in return. It’s ok that people love you. God continues to teach me...

Love you. Thank you for being on this journey.

Amanda

Clear scan! 3/4/19

Hi friends! Today I got a clear CT scan! It's been almost 3 years since second diagnosis (and 8 years in November since first one). I have been living in God's grace. This means that I have allowed myself to live normally by putting cancer to the side. My treatments are going good. My doctor is pleased with me.

I try to live everyday in His grace and in appreciation. It's really the only way to live in freedom. I am thankful for my friends and my family who continue to support me!

Love you now and always! :). Until next time... Xoxo

Amanda

Clear scan 12/3/18

Hi!
I had a CT scan today. It was all clear! I also saw my doctor and all was good. I had my treatment- 2 hour drip that I do every 3 weeks. I did good, but I was very tired with headache afterwards today. So I went home to rest.

My next scan is in March. All is going well. I am thankful for so much. It's already been such a great holiday season through Thanksgiving. I look forward to a blessed Christmas with family and friends.

I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I wish you special memories, moments happening today not waiting for tomorrow, and all the happiness in the world.


Lots of love,
Amanda

Hi,
Well I sure have missed my blog family.  I hope you are doing well.  I think about writing from time to time, but then get distracted by life's stuff.  I have been clear of cancer, and this means that cancer doesn't get much attention from day to day.  And, this means I live normally and don't often dive into any vulnerable areas.

However, I post today for a few reasons.  One is because, today, I am 2 years cancer free since my 2nd diagnosis (6 years, 6 months, 27 days total since my 1st diagnosis) and I do have a few vulnerable feelings, despite being cancer free right now. 

As a side note, you might wonder how I am really doing...I am energetic and thriving and living my life as full as possible, and as close to Jesus as possible.  I do find it very complex to live at 42 years old and know that my time could be very limited.  It's hard to not just up and fly out to Italy on a whim, or jump in my car and drive with my windows down and music turned up all the way to the beach and stay for more than a week; and just succumb to adult responsibilities of life.  (I should note here that I don't have a bucket list.)

So, on with the vulnerability part of this post.  Jack is graduating 5th grade tomorrow.  This school, these teachers have been with me over the last 7 years of this cancer journey.  I am forever grateful for their investment in my son.  Its been a safe place for me and for Jack during this journey.  Its been a small community of people I trust.  I am moving on with Jack to middle school to a new family that I hope is just as warm and caring and trusting with my son and our family. 

This coming Monday, June 4, 2018 is my follow up 3 month CT scan check.  I feel like it should be normal.  I literally don't feel bad or feel anything that would warrant the cancer's return.  However, I mentioned that today is my 2 year anniversary date.  We are now entering into the more pressing time frame of when the medicine is more likely to stop working.  Two years ago, I estimated it to work for 2-5 years.  So, now the inevitable becomes more likely. And with the "more likely" comes the pressure of being absolutely certain moving forward that I am living my life each and every moment to the best that it absolutely can be.  This is exactly where I will spend a lot of my time thinking and praying moving forward.  Frankly, I know this is no different for anyone, as we are all limited in our time on earth. I just get to hit it head on, face to face now in my best days of my life.

My best days of my life are spent in those little moments with my 10 year old that I only hope are the key moments that will define and shape him and moments that he will be able to look back and remember on his own account how special his mom is and how much she loves him.  The moments where my family can live in freedom without stress and fear.  I really don't need Italy or the beach.  I just need more of these little moments, especially before my son becomes a middle school alien of a child who smells like Axe spray and is full of drama. LOL. 

Another side note, my mom has taught me everything, with one exception- my brothers and 2 cousins taught me how to fight and not give up.  My aunts and uncles have coached me.  My step dad has stuck with me through everything.  My husband has loved me through everything. My friends...my friends have warmed my soul.  God has guided and provided for me in everything and in every way. 

I am one lucky blessed girl. 

Lots of love from me to you... 

I pray that you see where God has provided you with your angels, blessings and guidance, and that you believe He is relentless in his love for you regardless of circumstances. This makes all the difference in the world.