Chemo #11 done. ONE more to go...

Hi!  Happy New Year!! I hope you had a great Christmas!! I had a great Christmas. I was a little behind and some of it didn't come out perfectly- but it was fine! We really enjoyed a ton of Chris's family who was in. On Christmas Eve, Santa left a gift on our front porch. It's not that me or my family are in need but it was Christmas cheer brought to my home. I don't know who or what group of people came together to make this happen, but it was a huge gift and brought so much joy to us!! I have the YETI cooler sitting in my living room and it will stay there. :) I will continue to.pay this forward. Thank you Santa!!!! I am so grateful, I framed the card. My family is reminded of generosity and giving through your gift. Thank you!

Over the holiday, we also got to celebrate Chris retiring from Lex PD Homicide...finally!

I completed chemo #11 yesterday (Tues 1/3). I have ONE more chemo on 1/23!  This will be a break until it comes back. I know we are all very positively thinking that the cancer will not come back and this may be the case. But reality says it will return in maybe the next year or two or three. I am convinced that I will at least have one good year before it returns. :) I am very happy to be off of chemo! I will continue two meds intravenously every three weeks but don't mistake this for "chemo". These are drugs that will help stop the cancer from growing. Chemo kills cells. These other drugs will stop the cancer cells from talking to each other thru it's little tentacles, so that they will starve and die off.  And most importantly, I will feel good with little side effects.

My doctor put me on these 12 treatments which was a lot and more than most because she said that it was life threatening with the shortness of breath and near lungs.

I have decided to not do a second opinion until the cancer comes back.

I should be 100% by end of February. I am comitting to run a half marathon on April 29tb- assuming my muscles feel like they bounce back normally.  I will be in full swing at work. I am excited! I am determined. I am not saddened by the fact the cancer could come back. I am rejuvenated that I can be done with chemo for a while. I have adjusted to the fact that cancer is my reality and will always be a part of my life. I will live every 3 months hopeful for a clear CT scan for my forever. My next one is due in February. And then May. And then August. And then November and so on. Clear scans will be a gift from God. He can be trusted in this. He is ALWAYS good. My peace, my comfort come from His heart. I know no peace on my own. Its our prayers that he hears and that sustain me.

I think I have covered the latest updates. I am grateful for you, my friends and my family and those who read this and care for me who don't even know me.

Thanks for being on this journey with me. I will continue to update as I can and as I have more info.

Lots of love from my heart to yours.

Xoxo Amanda

Chemo #10 and upates 12/14/16

Hi,
Another 3 weeks have gone by.  I have a few updates. 

I had treatment #10 on Monday 12/12.  I am on my downhill starting today Wed thru Saturday or so. 

My doctor said that we are doing 2 more treatments, so that my last one would be January 23. However, its not my last one.  She said it is my last one for a break and that I will be resuming chemo in the near future.  She couldn't say exactly when at the moment.  I am still convinced that she thinks new meds are coming out and wants to keep this regimen that is working.  Its a bit of blow to my spirit but as long as I know what I have to do and what I have to prepare for, then I will continue to fight the fight that is before me. 

My side effects from treatment are taking a toll.  I have blurred vision that keeps getting worse.  Many times, the fatigue is from the actual chemo and my body is relatively strong, however, my body is now starting to get tired.  Muscles are weak. 

I was in a "moment" this morning and got this reminder from my Bible app... "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us- whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him."  1 John 5:14-15.  Sounds complicated, but it just means to let Him know our concerns, ask big prayers, give Him our worries and He will give us rest and peace.

Thank you for your prayers, notes, thoughts for me and my family.

I love that its Christmas time.  I look forward to fun new memories of the season.  I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in 2017!


XOXO

Love,
Amanda

Chemo #9 11/21 and big updates

Hi!
Sorry I have not been in touch. I've been living normal which means I take my attention away from this cancer stuff and live life! :):) Since my last treatment, my weeks 2 and 3 were really good again! I am truly getting the hang of this!

I had a scan last Monday 11/14 and it was CLEAR!  Still no cancer. :) my next scan should be in February (every 3 months forever).

Chemo treatment #9 was today and it seemed to go well. More tired today, didn't sleep well last night.

Talked to Dr Harper today about what she would do about second opinion. She says she would get a second opinion when it comes back. So for now, continue on.  I concur-No second opinion for now.

I also asked her about next steps in treatment. She says she will likely go to 12 treatments with the chemo. This means only 3 more treatments and my last one would be Jan 23!!! Happy dance! I will still continue the Perjeta and Herceptin intravenously every 3 weeks for a very long time- prob until it doesn't work anymore or new/better meds are out. I thought we were waiting on new meds that I would transition to coming off the chemo- but don't think this is the case for now. The reason to stop chemo is that my body can't take much more than 12 full doses.  If and when new meds come out, I will switch to them when this current regimen doesn't work anymore (maybe that was her point this whole time and I just caught on.). Regardless, I will still be on a really good regimen even without the chemo. Check out Perjeta's website.

Last week, I signed up for a life insurance policy that waived pre existing conditions. That was almost the BEST news I had this past week. That was something I tried to take care of right before I was sick 5 years ago and always missed the agent on phone to sign up. A big load off!

Today, I interviewed to be a volunteer to make my Oncology Unit resource library better for cancer patients. I am excited about this. I complained a lot to myself and people with me, and figured I would just do something about it. :)

I need to digest the info about coming off of chemo. I need to get ready for this switch and know that it's ok. I have to trust Dr Harper completely in this decision. My personality says to deal with whatever it is if it is working. So to come off of something working to something that may not work makes me a little nervous.

Dr Harper told me to be extra careful of being around people with flu or stomach bug. This could put me in the hospital. Please- if you know you are sick, tell me to get away or avoid me please.

God provides in so many ways for me and my family. So thankful on this night. Very suitable for the Thanksgiving weekend. I wish everyone a blessed holiday and a wonderful time with your friends and family. My mom hosted our dinner last night as I will feel terrible on Thursday and Friday. I will stay home. My heart wants to cook like I always do for an army. Oh well. No big deal. I will be feeling good for all of the Christmas season after 12/19. This will be good. :)

Happy Thanksgiving. Again, I am incredibly grateful to God in this season. He is my rock, my everything- without Him, I would be nothing but fearful, doubtful, abandoned, sad, crushed, depressed, hopeless, dying...but with Him, I am fearless, doubtless, loved, peaceful, comforted, courageous, hopeful, living.   Believing in His Almighty Power is an amazing experience not when it's a last resort and nowhere else to go, but always believing in who He is no matter the circumstances.  He changes everything.  Paired with 2 breast cancer episodes, I am truly humbled by His grace.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Find the good in the season and be a light to those you are with. :)

Love, Amanda

Chemo #8 10/31 and update

Hi,
Gosh. I just wrote for more than an hour and all but done, my phone shut down and lost it all. Wow. I will do the best I can...again...

The last 3 weeks have been good and interesting and with some developments. After treatment, Week 1 was mostly bad. It was my typical down week

Week 2 was good avoiding colds but had a scare that required a colonoscopy. It was clean and clear. No issues! I was much more in depth the first time I wrote this. Suffice it to say it wasn't that bad. Get one if you need one or of age to schedule it!

Week 3 was good. I have allergies that act like they want to develop into cold. No big deal for now. I had to cut my nails back, at least half way toward quick. Most people will think "oh gosh, she is a serious nail biter". They are scabby and gross. I don't like nail biting; it's a bad habit. You know it is- my nail biting friends.  I also cannot handle popping fingers. Both give me chills down my back. Bottom line, my nails are pretty gross but I go on like they are normal. Who cares!

Also, a few days ago I talked to someone my age, with work/family similar to mine- who is getting treatment out of state. As a result of this conversation, I do believe I will get a second opinion in December- after another scan I will do in about 3 weeks.

At my last treatment, I was informed that we would do another scan in 3 weeks but also learned that the cancer can return while enduring chemo treatments. I thought I was in coasting mode but apparently not (and not sure that coasting seasons will be something I can enjoy- this remains to be seen).  I think you can understand the difference. In addition to this, I am now going into the unknown.  My point of reference is 5 years ago, I had 18 chemo treatments (totaling 6 AC and 12 low doses of Taxotere) and 33 radiation treatments and double mastectomy. With each was a definitive end and definitive result. Now, I am going into my 8th full dose treatment of taxotere with two other meds. Moving forward, I don't have a number we will end at. I don't know how my body will hold up. I don't know what my next meds will look like. I don't have a definitive result. I was hoping I would be done by October and that's not the case. I am annoyed more than anything but managing well.

Now, this week is a little emotional for me.  I have treatment tomorrow, Monday 10/31 Halloween. :) but it's also 5 years to the dates and days that I found out the first time I was diagnosed. Monday is the day my appointments got moved and I went to my endocrinologist where she pointed out to me my golf ball size tumor in my breast. Tuesday was mammo, ultrasound and biopsy. Thursday 11/3 was the phone call.

We are wrapping up breast cancer awareness month. I have heard encouraging stories that are good to hear.  I offer this to you...Get your mammograms. Do self exams once per month- figure it out and take it serious. Don't skip your annual appointments with your OBGYN. Confession- I didn't take self exams serious and I skipped appointments. This is a different kind of encouragement but please take it as I care about you.

Thanks for loving me the way you do. You would not believe how my work peeps love me. Store 8 rocks it out with gifts all the time. Store 1 rocks it with hugs and laughs. My 3 bosses love me like I am their daughter- one of them doesn't have a choice. :):) My colleagues, customers, friends are caring and supportive and patient. I am in awe all of the time over people who care about me. I have said this before, but it's authentic and beautiful. God shows His love thru you and these people. He knows retreating and withdrawing are not my thing, but receiving love from my friends and family is.  I praise God and thank Him everyday, it is what speaks to my heart the most.  Xoxo.

Not exactly what I wrote the first time, but I wrote this for another hour. It's exactly what it needs to be. ;) I just went to publish this and joke is on me. The other draft saved in my list as draft.. Aye ya ya, oh well. I got to see Cubs win game #5! (also- to those of you who are reading this and was in the recent SMPS class that said double spacing is not acceptable in business writing any longer- then why in the world does the iPhone require a double space to achieve a period?! Feel free to message me about that! Ha!)

Lots of love,
Amanda

Blessed.

What a blessing of a week...

Saturday was the Lexington Race for the Cure. Approx 90 people showed up to run and walk. Several others of you could not be there but donated to my team. We raised over $5,000 that will be used to bring awareness to breast cancer and pay for research. Thank you for being a part of this, a part of my journey. I am blessed and don't really have the words to express how it feels to feel so loved and cared for.

On Sunday, we left for Charleston SC for Jacks fall break. We evacuated Wednesday morning at 6:30am and went home.

It's been a long but good week for me. It has felt very normal for me and that's good. Normal means that I am not preoccupied with this process and energy level back to fairly normal levels.  The issue is going into week one of side effects and knowing the hit my body takes. I am determined to push hard thru this. I have to be careful now that it's cold and flu season, so even though I feel well, I can't run out everywhere.

I appreciate your prayers and thoughts for me. I will try to update more but I don't want this to turn into "Amanda's update on side effects". I like to use this blog to update you on real updates and it helps me process real issues. It keeps me accountable to God's promises. Love you.

Chemo treatment #7 is on Monday 10/10.

More later...

Xoxo
Amanda

Focus on What Matters and Details for Saturday Komen Race

As the Komen Race for the Cure draws near this Saturday, I am OVERWHELMED with support from people who know me and love me, to those who don’t really know me.  Thank you so much for your donations and being a part of my team. 

During my first fight, diagnosed November 3, 2011, I experienced so many friends and family genuinely loving me through this journey.  It was then that I thought, if I had to paint a picture to capture my experience, it would be God in the center with HIS Army of Angels sent out to watch over me and my family, protect us, love us, feed us, etc.  I also sensed and still sense other angels that I cannot see that stand post for me daily, many of them I may know, like my Aunt Betty and many of them I may not.  This is where my Komen Race for the Cure team name, Amanda’s Army of Angels originated.  God has sent His army of prayer warriors and called people who care for me to stand by me.  Four years and four months later, on May 30, 2016,  The same stupid breast cancer came back.    

I have never so intensely felt two emotions at one time.  I feel incredibly grateful for being alive and that an Army of Angels is yet again by my side.  At the same time, I feel totally dejected for having to deal with the side effects of chemo and completely resent the fact that my family must endure this again.  It doesn’t seem fair, yet it all seems so worth it.  I want normalcy- something I don’t have, yet I am incredibly blessed for what I do have- life and independence.  As time progresses, this dichotomy of emotions becomes more and more of a fight for my attention and focus.  I have to stay grateful, humble, unexpectant, true to self, easy yoke… Matthew 11: 28-30.  “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  This is what must remain true and how I must find my resolve.

This is what I needed today.  A reminder of this journey.  A reminder of what is true.  A reminder that I am so blessed.  So blessed and humbled.  I cannot take on anything more.  If I do, it will result in self destruction. Take no heavy heart, no worry, no fear, no comparison, no wish list, no expectation, no self protection, no drama.  Appreciate the hour.  Appreciate the Army.  Appreciate God’s blessings, gifts and favors.

Here is a good song in honor of our walk on Saturday… “Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg

 

DETAILS FOR SATURDAY 

Race Packets and Custom T-shirts are available for pick up at Lynn Imaging, 328 Old Vine St.

Thursday 9/29, Friday 9/30, and Saturday morning 7:30-8:30AM. 

On Saturday...

Before Race: Park at Lynn Imaging (Back Parking Lot) and come in for breakfast and coffee.

7:30 - 8:30 AM  Breakfast at Lynn Imaging

8:30 AM Walk to Start Line

9:00 AM Race Begins

After Race: Go to Minglewood, 159 N Limestone, Lexington KY.   They are opening early for us.  They will have a brunch menu, $5 mimosas and bloodies, and a fun pink drink.

You can still join my team or donate: http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/LSV_KentuckyAffiliate?team_id=364964&pg=team&fr_id=6552

Update- Port is in.

Hi! :) The last couple of weeks have been fairly good. I seemed to recover from treatment pretty quickly. However, in this week 3 (my best week), I developed a bad cold. So much so that I had to stay in bed, get rest and forego my plans for most of the week.  I am on an antibiotic, seems to be helping some.

I had surgery this morning to have the port placed in my chest. That went well. It was only about half hour and Dr AJ at Baptist in Lexington (surgeon who did my mastectomy) did it. He is such a good doctor/surgeon....So the port is done, and move on. :)

I am scheduled for chemo #6 on Monday.

It's been a whirlwind as usual. But overall I am doing well. I hate that I lost time in my good week to sickness. Oh well. My spirits are good most of the time. If I have good energy, I resume all normal activity- work, Jack, dinner, homework, clean, etc. I certainly don't waste time with good energy. I am not walking or running much right now. Concerned about losing physical strength. So, I am going to try to focus more on that area once I bounce back from all of this sick, surgery stuff.

Join my Komen team if you want. Donate or register to walk or run in Komen Race on October 1 in Lexington. To those of you who are part of this, thank you. I am going to cry the entire time. It's so emotional to know that I have so much love and support. I am going to be a mess! It doesn't take a race to know you are out there, I am emotional about it all the time. Being in person with a team of people appropriately called "Amanda's Army of Angels" is special. Very special and very humbling. I don't take any of it for granted.  It's one of my favorite things about this journey- the love of friends and family for me. It's genuine, pure, authentic. My angels sent from God, just for me, just for this journey.

http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/LSV_KentuckyAffiliate?team_id=364964&pg=team&fr_id=6552

XOXOXOXO

Amanda