Chemo #8 10/31 and update

Hi,
Gosh. I just wrote for more than an hour and all but done, my phone shut down and lost it all. Wow. I will do the best I can...again...

The last 3 weeks have been good and interesting and with some developments. After treatment, Week 1 was mostly bad. It was my typical down week

Week 2 was good avoiding colds but had a scare that required a colonoscopy. It was clean and clear. No issues! I was much more in depth the first time I wrote this. Suffice it to say it wasn't that bad. Get one if you need one or of age to schedule it!

Week 3 was good. I have allergies that act like they want to develop into cold. No big deal for now. I had to cut my nails back, at least half way toward quick. Most people will think "oh gosh, she is a serious nail biter". They are scabby and gross. I don't like nail biting; it's a bad habit. You know it is- my nail biting friends.  I also cannot handle popping fingers. Both give me chills down my back. Bottom line, my nails are pretty gross but I go on like they are normal. Who cares!

Also, a few days ago I talked to someone my age, with work/family similar to mine- who is getting treatment out of state. As a result of this conversation, I do believe I will get a second opinion in December- after another scan I will do in about 3 weeks.

At my last treatment, I was informed that we would do another scan in 3 weeks but also learned that the cancer can return while enduring chemo treatments. I thought I was in coasting mode but apparently not (and not sure that coasting seasons will be something I can enjoy- this remains to be seen).  I think you can understand the difference. In addition to this, I am now going into the unknown.  My point of reference is 5 years ago, I had 18 chemo treatments (totaling 6 AC and 12 low doses of Taxotere) and 33 radiation treatments and double mastectomy. With each was a definitive end and definitive result. Now, I am going into my 8th full dose treatment of taxotere with two other meds. Moving forward, I don't have a number we will end at. I don't know how my body will hold up. I don't know what my next meds will look like. I don't have a definitive result. I was hoping I would be done by October and that's not the case. I am annoyed more than anything but managing well.

Now, this week is a little emotional for me.  I have treatment tomorrow, Monday 10/31 Halloween. :) but it's also 5 years to the dates and days that I found out the first time I was diagnosed. Monday is the day my appointments got moved and I went to my endocrinologist where she pointed out to me my golf ball size tumor in my breast. Tuesday was mammo, ultrasound and biopsy. Thursday 11/3 was the phone call.

We are wrapping up breast cancer awareness month. I have heard encouraging stories that are good to hear.  I offer this to you...Get your mammograms. Do self exams once per month- figure it out and take it serious. Don't skip your annual appointments with your OBGYN. Confession- I didn't take self exams serious and I skipped appointments. This is a different kind of encouragement but please take it as I care about you.

Thanks for loving me the way you do. You would not believe how my work peeps love me. Store 8 rocks it out with gifts all the time. Store 1 rocks it with hugs and laughs. My 3 bosses love me like I am their daughter- one of them doesn't have a choice. :):) My colleagues, customers, friends are caring and supportive and patient. I am in awe all of the time over people who care about me. I have said this before, but it's authentic and beautiful. God shows His love thru you and these people. He knows retreating and withdrawing are not my thing, but receiving love from my friends and family is.  I praise God and thank Him everyday, it is what speaks to my heart the most.  Xoxo.

Not exactly what I wrote the first time, but I wrote this for another hour. It's exactly what it needs to be. ;) I just went to publish this and joke is on me. The other draft saved in my list as draft.. Aye ya ya, oh well. I got to see Cubs win game #5! (also- to those of you who are reading this and was in the recent SMPS class that said double spacing is not acceptable in business writing any longer- then why in the world does the iPhone require a double space to achieve a period?! Feel free to message me about that! Ha!)

Lots of love,
Amanda

Blessed.

What a blessing of a week...

Saturday was the Lexington Race for the Cure. Approx 90 people showed up to run and walk. Several others of you could not be there but donated to my team. We raised over $5,000 that will be used to bring awareness to breast cancer and pay for research. Thank you for being a part of this, a part of my journey. I am blessed and don't really have the words to express how it feels to feel so loved and cared for.

On Sunday, we left for Charleston SC for Jacks fall break. We evacuated Wednesday morning at 6:30am and went home.

It's been a long but good week for me. It has felt very normal for me and that's good. Normal means that I am not preoccupied with this process and energy level back to fairly normal levels.  The issue is going into week one of side effects and knowing the hit my body takes. I am determined to push hard thru this. I have to be careful now that it's cold and flu season, so even though I feel well, I can't run out everywhere.

I appreciate your prayers and thoughts for me. I will try to update more but I don't want this to turn into "Amanda's update on side effects". I like to use this blog to update you on real updates and it helps me process real issues. It keeps me accountable to God's promises. Love you.

Chemo treatment #7 is on Monday 10/10.

More later...

Xoxo
Amanda

Focus on What Matters and Details for Saturday Komen Race

As the Komen Race for the Cure draws near this Saturday, I am OVERWHELMED with support from people who know me and love me, to those who don’t really know me.  Thank you so much for your donations and being a part of my team. 

During my first fight, diagnosed November 3, 2011, I experienced so many friends and family genuinely loving me through this journey.  It was then that I thought, if I had to paint a picture to capture my experience, it would be God in the center with HIS Army of Angels sent out to watch over me and my family, protect us, love us, feed us, etc.  I also sensed and still sense other angels that I cannot see that stand post for me daily, many of them I may know, like my Aunt Betty and many of them I may not.  This is where my Komen Race for the Cure team name, Amanda’s Army of Angels originated.  God has sent His army of prayer warriors and called people who care for me to stand by me.  Four years and four months later, on May 30, 2016,  The same stupid breast cancer came back.    

I have never so intensely felt two emotions at one time.  I feel incredibly grateful for being alive and that an Army of Angels is yet again by my side.  At the same time, I feel totally dejected for having to deal with the side effects of chemo and completely resent the fact that my family must endure this again.  It doesn’t seem fair, yet it all seems so worth it.  I want normalcy- something I don’t have, yet I am incredibly blessed for what I do have- life and independence.  As time progresses, this dichotomy of emotions becomes more and more of a fight for my attention and focus.  I have to stay grateful, humble, unexpectant, true to self, easy yoke… Matthew 11: 28-30.  “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  This is what must remain true and how I must find my resolve.

This is what I needed today.  A reminder of this journey.  A reminder of what is true.  A reminder that I am so blessed.  So blessed and humbled.  I cannot take on anything more.  If I do, it will result in self destruction. Take no heavy heart, no worry, no fear, no comparison, no wish list, no expectation, no self protection, no drama.  Appreciate the hour.  Appreciate the Army.  Appreciate God’s blessings, gifts and favors.

Here is a good song in honor of our walk on Saturday… “Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg

 

DETAILS FOR SATURDAY 

Race Packets and Custom T-shirts are available for pick up at Lynn Imaging, 328 Old Vine St.

Thursday 9/29, Friday 9/30, and Saturday morning 7:30-8:30AM. 

On Saturday...

Before Race: Park at Lynn Imaging (Back Parking Lot) and come in for breakfast and coffee.

7:30 - 8:30 AM  Breakfast at Lynn Imaging

8:30 AM Walk to Start Line

9:00 AM Race Begins

After Race: Go to Minglewood, 159 N Limestone, Lexington KY.   They are opening early for us.  They will have a brunch menu, $5 mimosas and bloodies, and a fun pink drink.

You can still join my team or donate: http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/LSV_KentuckyAffiliate?team_id=364964&pg=team&fr_id=6552

Update- Port is in.

Hi! :) The last couple of weeks have been fairly good. I seemed to recover from treatment pretty quickly. However, in this week 3 (my best week), I developed a bad cold. So much so that I had to stay in bed, get rest and forego my plans for most of the week.  I am on an antibiotic, seems to be helping some.

I had surgery this morning to have the port placed in my chest. That went well. It was only about half hour and Dr AJ at Baptist in Lexington (surgeon who did my mastectomy) did it. He is such a good doctor/surgeon....So the port is done, and move on. :)

I am scheduled for chemo #6 on Monday.

It's been a whirlwind as usual. But overall I am doing well. I hate that I lost time in my good week to sickness. Oh well. My spirits are good most of the time. If I have good energy, I resume all normal activity- work, Jack, dinner, homework, clean, etc. I certainly don't waste time with good energy. I am not walking or running much right now. Concerned about losing physical strength. So, I am going to try to focus more on that area once I bounce back from all of this sick, surgery stuff.

Join my Komen team if you want. Donate or register to walk or run in Komen Race on October 1 in Lexington. To those of you who are part of this, thank you. I am going to cry the entire time. It's so emotional to know that I have so much love and support. I am going to be a mess! It doesn't take a race to know you are out there, I am emotional about it all the time. Being in person with a team of people appropriately called "Amanda's Army of Angels" is special. Very special and very humbling. I don't take any of it for granted.  It's one of my favorite things about this journey- the love of friends and family for me. It's genuine, pure, authentic. My angels sent from God, just for me, just for this journey.

http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/LSV_KentuckyAffiliate?team_id=364964&pg=team&fr_id=6552

XOXOXOXO

Amanda

Chemo #5

Hi. :)
I had chemo treatment number 5 today. I was stuck 4 times and they finally got it. I was worried that they wouldn't get it and what would we do? Not have chemo? The girls who do my bloodwork said my veins were really hard. It sounded like this was they problem with the chemo sticks as well.

So in this new development, I am going to get a port in September prior to my next treatment on Sept 19th. The port requires surgery, can get infected, and will produce an ugly scar around my collarbone area. Oh well. It's time that I get it and save my veins.  We have been using my right arm only. My doctor does not allow us to use the left arm due to one lymph node taken out and radiation on that side from the first time. So she prefers the port before switching arms.

I am feeling good after treatment. Took the puppy to the vet, took son to baseball practice. Came home and cooked spaghetti, mac n cheese, banana muffins for tonight and for the week. Very productive. :) I have three meetings for work over the next 2 days, out of this house! And from there I will go downhill by Wed afternoon and into next week. It's getting harder to recover quickly.

In 6 more treatments, it will be January 2, 2017. It is then that I will ask my doctor about a new plan. It's not guaranteed to change right away but she will know more about the new meds. I think the tricky part is knowing when exactly these new meds will be available.  Until then, chemo it is!

I am feeling pretty well recovered from the ovaries out. My hot flashes are about the same but probably with a little more intensity in them. It's an event when they come on. My insides go to 500 degrees and stay there for about 3-5 minutes. I average about 2 per hour or so.

I feel good. Laying down to go to sleep now, and probably won't sleep well due to steroids.  I like productivity and feeling good. It's fueling for now as I know what's coming later.

Take care my sweet friends. Thanks for your caring loving hearts and prayers for me. It means the world.

To God be the glory. I am cancer free and I am living another day to fight this horrible disease.

Xoxo. We got this!

Surgery went well

Hi. I had my surgery to remove my ovaries on August 23rd. I am recovering okay from that. It's a little emotional probably because my body is adjusting but also because sometimes I feel like I keep getting knocked down... I get up and get knocked down.  Chemo, surgeries, more chemo...The moral of the story is I always get up.  Even though I feel like Rocky beat half to death sometimes, I'll be damned that this is going to take me down.

I just keep going back to God for the answers and the drive.

I'll write more later.

Xoxo
Amanda

Productive Week Despite Downturn

Hi.
This past week was interesting, productive, progressive despite the chemo effect downturn. 


Picking up Ned at the LEX airport on 8/5/16.

Jack turned 9 years old on Aug 6th.  On July 30th, I was able to hang with him and 4 boys at KY Kingdom Amusement Park in Louisville to celebrate.

We have officially had a 10 week old puppy, now, for one week.  His name is Ned. This is big for us, as we are not pet people.  I am severely allergic to dogs and to most animals, outdoor everything, etc, but we took the risk with a miniature Australian Shepherd and miniature red poodle mix, called a Mini Aussiedoodle.  The poodle makes the dog much more hypoallergenic.  The result is that my allergies are actually doing ok with him. Surprisingly, he really is very, very low allergenic though sometimes my eyes swell, but 90% of the time, I do okay with him.  I keep my hands washed and clothes changed if I handle him a lot. :)

Jack started 4th grade on Wednesday, Aug 10th.  He is settling in very well and seems to like it.  His reading teacher is his favorite.  This is good, because he doesn't like to read so much.

I found out that I am cancer free and now I just get to fight cancer in prevention mode.  I know this is great news, but the chemotherapy is a tough trek though.  I had chemo on Monday Aug 8th and gosh it was hard this time.  Lethargic, fatigued, sore just takes over when it's ready and there is no fighting it.  So, for the most part Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I did nothing.  I forced a few things here and there, but even today, Monday, I am not on a full upswing just yet.  I am thinking I will be better by Wednesday.

I am having my ovaries out next Tuesday Aug 23rd, and assuming my blood counts look good, I can do this and not skip a treatment.  Its laparoscopic, so it should be not too hard to recover as well.  Then, my next chemo treatment will be on Aug 29th, just in time for our 13th wedding anniversary on Aug 30th and Labor Day weekend.  Oh well. It is what it is! Chris hates when I say this, but its true.

Jack and Chris have been very good to me.  Jack is very helpful, gives me random kisses and hugs, he makes me laugh and he is not bothered by my bald head.  Chris is extremely helpful and I suppose I could say the same thing about him. :)  We make a good team. 

Speaking of baldness...I just read this morning that Norton Healthcare in Louisville implemented new technology to prevent hair loss from chemo.  Its a cooling cap that limits blood flow to scalp so that the chemo can't reach the hair.  Way to go Norton!  I am partial to these folks. :)  Would love to get my treatment there, but its too far for my Momma who does ALL of this with me.  If you know Dottie, you know just how much of a treat it is to have her with me and how lucky I am that I get to have her as my Momma! (I know its not luck, its really God's blessing!)

Speaking of a different facility...I am not going to get a second opinion for now.  The cancer is gone and that was the goal.  Now our next goal is the BEST prevention medicine to stop this thing from coming back, starve it and kill it to its core!  At this past appointment last Monday, my oncologist basically said this, "We are going to keep you alive until the new drugs come out."  I asked for a ballpark on how long I had to continue with chemo treatment and she said "you can ask me again in January".  I think this is because she is going to review the released new meds coming out this December and actually use those on me.  And until she knows a release date, she is keeping me alive with the current regimen. 

As of today, I am introducing 2 shakes a day filled with green veges and all that goodness that is supposedly good for your body.  I decided this doesn't have to replace anything, it can just add to my day.  We tried some this weekend and its very doable, assuming I don't get lazy and don't make them.

Thank you for your care, your concern, your love, your prayers. You mean the world to me.  Together, we can overcome and redeem difficult times.

Komen Race For the Cure, Lexington, KY-- October 1-- Click here to join my team or donate!!! :) 

XOXO Amanda