Hi. Today is day 7 from chemo treatment number 5. I sit here this morning physically tired to think about getting in the shower. I ate a bowl of Special K with protein and fiber. These things are good for me. I saw a nutritionist because I know I am not eating right. Yes, I have to eat what I can and what I feel like, but, I can eat most things, so I do need to watch it. What is most intriguing to me, is that I can eat food to fight cancer. So food becomes not just about my weight as it always has been, but about what I am putting into my body to help fight cancer now. So, I am trying to eat more protein, make wild berry shakes, and good amounts of fruits and veges.
With that said, I am experiencing hot flashes. I am assured it is not pre-menopausal. Though between those and the lack of right words or connected thoughts at times, it is as close as I am going to get hopefully for a while once this is done.
When I started this journey, I had a strong healthy body. So, I was able to take a chemo treatment here, a chemo treatment there and get back up and keep going. Now after 5 chemo treatments and sugery, my body is feeling these effects and is becoming exhausted. I don't have that energy reserve that I had a few months ago.
The deal is, I am fighting this and I am going to win. I found out last week that when I started this, I was probably late stage 3 and when they removed everything, it was staged at 2b. These final treatments including 7 weeks of radiation will take me into August and it is everything they can do to me to reduce my risk as much as possible for its return later. So bring it on!
Last night, I watched a show that Oprah did about Tony Robbins. He is a "life coach" and very good at what he does. He talked on stage for 11 hours about how to live to your best and then had them walk on fiery hot coals. Part of his intent is that you feel empowered about everything in your life because you can do anything if you can walk on fire. Cancer is probably like my fiery hot coals. I am feeling empowered in this experience. I don't think you need fire or cancer to be empowered in life. I am learning what makes great moments is with what you have right in front of you or inside of you. Sometimes pulling it out is like pulling a shiny new object out of murky waters depending on where life has taken you. Everyday we have a choice to be the person we want to be (assuming you want the best) or designed to be. In my relationship with Jesus, I have learned that the most. I have a choice to be in my agony and exhaustion, or to be on my feet ready to be the best I can be. My world is not just for me to be rid of cancer and go on; its for those around me to experience a freedom and peace that comes with knowing God and knowing that there is more inside of us. If we become satisfied with status quo, time will run out and then who will do it?
This became a personal journal session. But, I'll tell you, I have never been committed to journaling in the 50 times I have tried, but I am committed to this blog. So you get little very personal pieces of me from time to time. Hope its okay with you. Thank you for your prayers and support. Love to each of you, Amanda
Thank you again, Amanda, for the updates. You have a talent for writing. Know that I am always praying for you and as for the "little very personal pieces," bring 'em on! They are blessings to us who are following you.
ReplyDeleteMandy, You are so brave. You understand these powerful drugs are needed. I envisage you as a strong , vibrant woman at end of this journey. On a lighter note let's hope you don't get that curly hair your momma has. She is going to murder me. Love, Aunt Shirley
ReplyDeleteyou will beat this. we serve an awesome God and he is the great physician and you couldn't be in any better hands than his. God Bless you Amanda and remember nothing is impossible with God on our side. God bless-brad
ReplyDeleteMandy,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are going through a rough patch but unfortunately it comes with the territory. It will get better, you just have to walk and get past those fiery coals. As you said, you started out with a strong and healthy body. That will carry you far. I know you have the determination and strength to get through this. Just remember, eat well and drink lots of water. Flush that poison out of your system.
Much love,
Connie
Does Poppycock count as protein?? :) Love, hugs and prayers being sent your way! XXOO - Michelle DeLacey
ReplyDeleteSo Sorry Mandy that the chemo came back with such fury. I too was hoping that it wouldn't be so exhausting for you. The surgery seem to go so well. I know you can do this. You have continued this journey with your head on your shoulders looking forward. That in itself makes me so proud and honored that you are my niece. I know very little of all that you are going through but we are all praying for you. Know we love you very much and are always praying for the strength you need through God's love.
ReplyDeleteAunt Debbie