Happy Friday!

Hi, I hope this post finds everyone doing well.  I am on the upswing.  Energy is pretty good, eating is good...no rash and no fever this time.  So, week #2 has been better than most so far.  (I do have a little rash at site of injection and around my hands, I am downplaying it until I am told its a problem. That is why I wrote it in parenthesis. :))

So, I know last week I wrote about a "difficult week".  Please understand that I have a good attitude, I am upbeat, I don't have very many emotional episodes as you would think.  Please know that when I post to this blog, I share all of my experiences- the good and the bad.  This is a very serious situation and will continue to be, and I may choose to tell you about the times I stay up til 2am to process.  But I also may tell you about the times that I laugh at myself.  If we are going to do this together, stay with me and swing through it all- the good and not so good.

This week, I did see Dr. Jim Roach with the Integrative Medicine Center.  So, he is basically "Dr. Botanical Treatment" himself, I just made that up.  It was a very interesting experience.  I don't have a final judgement just yet, and I am keeping an open mind.  But when he told me I couldn't eat chicken eggs, I said "the eggs I buy at the grocery?" he said "correct, but you can eat duck eggs."  I said I am not eating duck eggs!  And then I can eat pistachios and walnuts but must take Zinc after I eat them.  There are about a thousand more restrictions and consequences. I am still sifting through it to see what I can do.  Bottom line is that I am naturally just not a botanical kind of person with or without cancer.  I am a realistic kind of person.  I live in a small town with a Walmart for a grocery, 5 Mexican restaurants, 5 pizza places, McDonalds, Lee's Chicken and Dairy Queen.  I MIGHT have a different perspective if I had a whole foods market around the corner and a farmer's market every week.  Regardless, I need to see what will work for me and I am not opposed but it will take work! I will report back.

Also, my family and I made significant steps to embracing the idea to get a second opinion, possibly switching doctors, finding a nicer facility, etc.  If I wake up in the middle of the night, these are the things racing through my mind.  I will report back on this.

I am going to celebrate Jack's birthday on Saturday by taking 5 children to KY Kingdom.  Chris will be there, but this seems ridiculous for me. :) I will be fine, I promise...I will take breaks, stay in the shade and not touch anything, except a funnel cake because I can and I want to! :) LOL!

Not sure who all reads this, but if you do, I love you and I appreciate that you care. :) By now, the newness has worn off and some people don't stay plugged in.  If you are still plugged in, I know you care and thank you from my heart. ;) Hope you are enjoying your summer.  Jack starts school in 10 days, that is crazy!  But I look forward to it for him.  Structure in the middle of all of this is a good thing for him.

Komen Lexington Race, October 1, 2016
Click here to join my team or to donate: Amanda's Army of Angels

Update for a difficult week

Hi,
This week has been an interesting week.  It's been a difficult week most of all.  But, we are all learning to deal with this disease and are choosing to be faithful and thankful.

On Monday, before treatment, a few of us met with my Oncologist.  I asked her the question, "after this episode, what is the likelihood of this coming back?"  Basically, its what we have known...according to her, it is coming back, its just a matter of when.  This fight for my life got really serious in those moments.  It is not easy to hear those words that you will have to do this again. 

The chemo has been tolerable until today, it is just not very fun.  Just the weight and fatigue of it is upon me. 

I have skipped over a lot of details.  This has been a week of reflection and process.  I am excited for each day I have here.  This is how I have to choose to live.  I don't have a time clock on my life, but I am pretty aware that it is probably shorter than most, at this point.

I have to and enjoy seeking God's peace in this.  There is no other way to do this and feel good about it.  I feel so much better when I choose to believe just how trustworthy He is.  He makes all things impossible, possible. And that makes me very happy! :)  None of us have a guarantee on our life. 

Let me shout this out...I hate cancer!  And listen you healthy people...get out there and get your check ups, mammograms, colonoscopies, etc!  There is a reason why they screen these things.  Don't wait until you have a problem.  AND if you do have a problem, pick up your phone and call your doctor right now and make an appointment.  If you need a referral, let me know, I will get you to the right doctor! :) LOL!

XOXO Lots of love, Amanda

Chemo treatment is on Monday

Chemo treatment #3 is Monday 7/18 morning (tomorrow). The most exciting thing about this treatment is that it is #3- we will be doing a scan at some point over the next weeks to see if the cancer is GONE! Can I get a whoop whoop!?  Let's not get too excited just yet.  Let me get the scan first. I will report back on the scheduled date.

I have been preparing for chemo a little better this time. I made stuffed shells for the freezer. It's a good recipe, Chris really liked it. Pioneer Woman's Red White and Green Stuffed Shells. I also got some steel cut oats with dried fruits, brown sugar, nuts that I will like in my down days. I am pretty excited about that. I am stocked with a little more chemo friendly foods and drinks I think I will like. I just wrote that and I thought to myself "I am so optimistic today"- and now I am lauging at myself. Because in 4-5 days, I might just be writing how horrible the food is. Lol!  That will make me laugh only for about 10 seconds in that moment, but right now I find it very funny.  It's all about the perspective of the day! :):):)

I watched a movie Miracles in Heaven with Jack today. I knew I would cry and I hate movies that make me cry. It was exhausting. There are two things I will say that were good from this. One is that in all reality it was probably therapeutic for me to watch it and cry a good cry. Secondly, going to bed tonight, Jack tells me that he felt safe watching the movie. It reminded him that God is always there no matter what. I'll take that anytime! ❤️

So about tomorrow, yes I am anxious. Yes, I hate going into this knowing what the next week or two is going to be like. I don't want to be stuck in my arm more than one time to get it right. But, overall I am okay. I am still learning this journey all over again. And my emotions have calmed down a lot. The transition from normalcy to the newness of fighting cancer for the second time is almost complete. Now what follows is the transition to my new reality. This is just beginning and will take a lot of time. Though, this is probably less of a transition and really just more of a process that will continue on forever for me. Daily perspective is one of the components and it will be sharper than Bobby Flay's knives.

Thanks for your love, your support, all the ways you are to me and my family-and do for me and my family; you know what you are and what you do. I love each and every one of you!

FYI...
I am gearing up a team for the Komen race, October 1 in Lexington, Kentucky. Let's get some exercise and raise money to fight this stupid ridiculous dumb breast cancer crap.  I don't care if it's a good day or a bad day, I will be there! More details to come. It's a 5k. Start getting your training in now. :)

5 Minute Update and Another Good Day

Hi! I am doing really good today.  Yesterday was a good day as well.  Yesterday, I left the house at 7:15am and returned at 5:30pm.  It was a full day and it went pretty good!  I was running at about 80% energy level, but overall good.

With treatment comes changes in levels of energy, levels of fatigue, levels of initiative, levels of pain, levels of general interest, levels of taste.  (I like to try to put words to better define my experience.)  Energy level is the most long lasting side effect for me as time passes between treatments.  All other side effects go away for the most part.  I end up liking my coffee, but I do have aversions to some foods and drinks that never really leave me.  I probably have about 85% taste right now.  Foods just aren't what they usually are.

I decided that on my good days, I would exercise as much as possible.  I am concerned for muscle atrophy that can occur during my bad days.  This is me talking, not my doctor or anyone else.  So, for the last couple of nights when the sun goes down, I have walked the neighborhood.  I am not breaking a sweat or breaking records, but something is better than nothing.  I would love this to be a jog for a couple of miles.  Right now its walking about 1.25 miles. 

Also, I scheduled an outpatient surgery for August 16th to have my ovaries out.  This will permanently get rid of naturally produced estrogen.  Estrogen feeds my cancer- its got to go!  This means I will be in menopause.  I will not be able to take the medication to help with menopause because that is an estrogen provided therapy.  Obviously, I am not a candidate for that.  So in the weeks to come, I will be reading up on this.  It may not be too far from what I am experiencing now in terms of body temperature- really hot or cold.  And my moods, as I have mentioned before are random. LOL.  That may mean business as usual! 

Someone mentioned that I should check out the Doctor Roach Integrative Medicine Center in Midway, KY.  I made an appointment with Dr. Jim Roach on July 26th.  I am continuing my current program with my oncologist and chemotherapy, etc.  I am looking into this for any other advice that could complement my chemo and help my body fight with bigger guns.  What I like most about this place is the nutrition advice.  Well, I like the sounds of it.  If it doesn't include ice cream, cupcakes or fried chicken, I may hate it.  Just sayin'! 

I am continuously comforted in God's peace.  I pray for Jack and Chris to also experience this peace, not forced by what we think is peace, but by only what God can provide.  I am solid in my relationship with God, and He is my number one go-to for healing, peace, comfort.  Thank you for your prayers and your faith.  :)

Good day today! :):)

Hi. :) I have had a great day today!  Last week went downhill until Friday. Had great days Friday, Saturday, and today- Sunday. I have taken regular breaks in between activities. I have a busy week at work coming up so as long as I take my breaks I should be fine. :).

I was at church today and the message was from Luke 8...a woman who touched Jesus's robe and was healed from 12 years of bleeding. She was not an interruption for him to go heal someone else.  She was His daughter and took time for her. None of us are an interruption to the work of God, and no issue or problem is more important than someone else's. He has time for all of us and He doesn't have to be a last resort, He is always at work in our lives. Thanks for letting me share that, as it is so comforting to me to know that not just me but all of us are cared for by Him.

I am so thankful for the good and bad days. I will remind myself of this on the bad days. :). I am getting the hang of this for now. Lol!

I will write more sooner than later. Xoxo. Amanda

Happy Fourth of July!

This weekend has been filled with highs and lows. I tried to get a pedicure and became dizzy, lost probably 95% vision and had to call Chris to pick me up. The next morning I was fine and successfully accomplished it. I have been out socializing a few hours here and there but most hours have been spent on couch and in bed.

I cannot fight the rhythms of treatment. They are stronger than me. Even if I feel good (normally I would run 100 errands, go to the grocery 3x, and do 100 more things), I must hold myself back to reserve my energy. It's very very hard for me to do that.

On Thursday I was feeling frustrated. Today I am helping myself work thru this and remembering to not fight it. Enjoy the good moments and lay down in the bad moments. I am feeling very tired at the moment where my levels feel like they have dipped again.

Still  no sign of rash. Yay. I feel incredibly blessed for my friends and family and work friends who are all there for me for anything. I mean really blessed. God is in this with us. Love you all.

Happy Fourth of July!!! :) xoxoxo