TX 6 done. 6 more to go!

Hi!  I breezed through treatment 6 yesterday.  My Aunt Shirley went with me along with Chris. 
Here is a great story.  I met 3 sisters at treatment.  One receiving chemo treatment for pancreatic cancer.  One had breast cancer 5 years ago and doing well now.  The other one loved my cake.  I actually met them last Monday when I took in a cake platter for the nurses and ended up walking around the waiting room, serving everyone waiting. :)  Many couldn't believe that I was a patient.  Yesterday's story is so wonderful to me, because, my aunt went to the bathroom where the one sister, breast cancer survivor for 5 years, was teared up in the bathroom.  She stops my aunt and says, "I have something for your daughter."  She handed her a bracelet with "all you need is LOVE" enscribed on it.  She wore this bracelet the last 5 years and asked my aunt to give it to ME.  These days, I really don't tear up often about what I am going through, but in this case, it is very touching for me. 

I am blessed to have the schedule that I have.  I work for amazing people who pray for me and support me incredibly.  I am so appreciative of the time I have to digest all that is going on, get through the process and focus on healing. 

If you ask me how I am doing, I will tell you I am doing well.  Friday was a hard day.  I stopped in Kroger parking lot and didn't even get out of the car.  Went home to sit on couch.  On another note, on Sunday night, I took my steriod and cleaned furiously for an hour!  I will also tell you that life is a box of chocolates, you never know which one you are going to get.  I have experienced the several types of chocolates lately.  I don't like them all, but it is my box.  This is my life, it is my choice on how I choose to respond.  I can pick distaste, distrust, disheartening, disinterest, distance.  Or I can pick love, respect, redemption, trust, a soft heart, peace, deliverance.  Today I choose the latter along with dark chocolate that has cancer fighting antioxidants. My next 5 years may bring life, but it doesn't mean that it will be an easy 5 years regardless.  I am thankful for a God who can take those moments for me.  It is my guess the sister feels the same way. 

Thank you.  Love you.  Amanda

4/9/12 Follow Up Reports and Chemo

Hi.
The report is that the surgeon says that all looks good. I have a sore muscle in my back for some reason but he says he isn't worried about it. I have to have mammogram in November (1 year follow up) since I still have the other side at this point until my next surgery in January possibly.

Oncologist is pleased with me. She says I look good and that I am doing well. Only 7 more treatments of chemotherapy!! :). There are some side effects I need to be careful of, but not huge deal.

Chemo went fine. I sat down around 2:30pm and was done at around 5:10pm. I slept so sound. I am starting to like these treatments! Best sleep in a while- even if it is just an hour. Haha!

I met a woman whose breast cancer returned in her lungs 6 years ago. She comes in every 3 weeks for a dose of chemo and goes on with her life. She looks great and says breast cancer was the best thing thats ever happened to her because it got her priorities straight.

Thank you for your care an concern for me! Your prayers are working!

Never underestimate the power of how God can work in your life. It's not my work, my performance, my cancer, my ups and downs that I rest in. It's God's strength through Jesus that I can rest and trust. It's through my experience, only in the recent few years, that I have learned this allowing me to lead a much richer and fuller life than I ever expected, even in these minutes.

"I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether is is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:12-13

Tx 5 of 12

Today is treatment 5 of 12.  Only 7 more to go! I had a great week managing the fatigue well.  I was able to visit with family in town which was so fun!  Easter was a great day! 

I usually don't sleep much the night before chemo. I got about 4.5 hours of sleep, which is better than usual.  My side effects seem to be minimal at this point.  I am happy with the grace that has been given in this.  Its one of those things that hit me over the last week or so.  I have not had issues with weight loss, inability to eat, extreme lack of energy.  This is truly grace over the last 5 months.  It hit me that it could be so much worse.  So, with this realization, now I am encouraged to do more from my old normal in my new normal. 

Today is 2 month surgery follow up with surgeon, Dr. AJ from Central Baptist.  I am also seeing Oncologist, Dr. Harper today.  Her appts are every 2-3 weeks now, though I am going in for chemo every Monday now.  I pray that these appoitments continue to bring the message of healing and progress.  I have a couple of concerns with soreness and side effects that I will be discussing.  Nothing major. 

Thank you for checking in.  Girls, go get your Annuals and your Mammograms!  Boys, you pay attention too!  My friend's father was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Stay aware of your bodies, go to doctor to get your checks done!  Men- don't not do this, especially with prostate, colon and all that you really need to have checked.

Here is my pic for the day.

Love you all!

Tx 4 of 12

This one came and went. :) 

Treatment 3 of 12

Hi! Here we are today at treatment 3 of 12 in Round 2. I included a pic of me so you can see how great I look ;). Haha! I took about 15 pics sitting here in parking lot before I decided to post this one. People who can see me are wondering about me. I just went in to do lab work and have an hour to kill before treatment. They do bloodwork to make sure counts are good before loading me up. My thoughts this morning were to walk during this time, or get a donut. Neither are appealing at the moment and Spaldings is closed. So I will use this time to pray, how about that conclusion?! :)

Father, I pray today for the nurses and doctors caring for their patients today. Give them wisdom and guidance. I pray for the families who are experiencing health issues- some that are under control and some that are not. I pray that you will provide your healing and comfort to these them. I pray you give them strength and security, the only kind that can come from you. I pray for my dear friends reading this, that each one knows how special he or she is to me- for those I know so well and those I do not. I pray that you lift them up today. I pray that their day is light and full of you. I pray against insecurity, doubt and fears. I pray that they see you in the middle of all they are experiencing and decisions they are making. I ask that you bless them with your favor and with your peace today. Let this prayer wash over them and give a new perspective on whatever it is they may face today. I love them in Jesus name. Thank you for each one you have put into my path. Thank you for sending your son just for us. In Jesus name I pray, Amen

TX 2 of 12, Round 2

Hi. I hope all is well with you. It’s interesting that in the middle of this, it feels so self consuming and I feel like I get a little out of touch with people because of my situation. Please let me know how YOU are doing. I feel like I don't always ask the right questions and before we know it, its all about me...

Sleep with new round.  Rare chemo photo.
3/12/2012

Today is Monday, which means I had treatment 2 of 12, Round 2 today. Every Monday morning, we shoot for 10ish. But, its always a wait and see once I get there. Today was a good example. I arrived early at 9am because thought I had yet another blood clot in my other (left) arm and we had to do an ultrasound. Computers were down, yada yada yada. I left there with chemo done at 4:15pm. To their defense, it does take a while for chemo from start to finish (1:30-4:15pm).  Oh, and I did not have a blood clot. J 

How do I feel, physically?
So, it turns out that this chemo is easier than Round 1, but not as easy as I thought it was going to be. What makes this one different and how do I really feel? The first one had nausea, lots anti nausea meds, white blood cell booster shot ($6k shot wow), fatigue, and we can revisit symptoms posted on January 10th to get the full scope...When I read back on those symptoms it made me laugh a little. Round 2 is actually much more similar that I even thought, actually. I will rank what is going on...

1. Sleep is wacked. Example.  Sleep at 3am, up at 7am, nap at 3pm, sleep at 2am, up at 6am, sleep at 8:30pm...
2. Fatigue is ever present.
3. Hot flashes.  Have to rank high due to annoyance!
4. My mouth and lining going down feels a like the top layers are just not there.
5. Dizzy from time to time.
6. Dull Muscle pain (like having restless legs from too much walking or something). I think this is the biggest culprit for keeping me awake, along with the chemo and steroids.
7. Taking steroids with each tx in round 2. Pharmacist says, "Will make you hyper, irritable, hungry.”  Well, girls and boys, we know that when we see it- don’t we!  Thanks for letting me know in advance Doc!  Exactly what went through my mind: “What do I do if I am already hyper, irritable and hungry. This can’t be good.  Oh, crap.”

I will stop there.  Overall, not bad, really.  Just giving lots of details.  Put it all together in a wig, with a prosthesis, smashbox eyebrows, lip color and flipflops-- its not that bad!  Haha!  Having hot flash now as I write, I get it, I really get the concept. Gees!  Hot flash gone.

Support Group…a calling to support families?

By the way, I went to a support group meeting last Tuesday.  That was really great.  You would be glad to know that it was done well, in my opinion.  Really great women there.  Survivors by 2 weeks, 5 years, etc.  I am thinking about how I can help more families deal with cancer.  So, I am looking into real ways to help in the non-medical support area.  This is certainly a way that I am praying and asking for what that would need to look like in Central Kentucky.  Not to interfere with my job, but just something that I am praying about.

My Son Accepting Baldness…or not
Another random note, my son saw my bald head in the last 2 days or so, twice.  After the 80 degree day on Sunday, I realized I cannot wear a wig everyday in the heat through July (when I think I will have a little hair start growing back). I wear it for the kids in our neighborhood for normalcy.  However, this will need to change.  So, I started to acclimate my son.  He says, “You look like a different Mommy.”  “You look weird.”  “You look like a ghost.”  These things do not hurt my feelings at all.  I love when he expresses what he feels without holding back.  He changed his opinion slightly tonight and did say “You look pretty but different.”  I felt he should touch my head to help him understand and he did the soft spots.  Still too much.  I knew he would do fine with hats and my new hair, but knew the bald was a bit much for him.  I am going to keep pushing it along carefully until he is used to it.

In Summary
How am I doing emotionally and spiritually? So very solid.  I can say this without hesitation at this point.  Sometimes I feel like crying out of the blue because it saddens me that anyone goes through this.  There was a family crying while walking past me in waiting room.  I am blessed to know that I may have longer than some to live, whether that is by 2 years or 50 years, we have yet to find that out.  But, I am accepting those terms 100%.  This helps me be solid.  It helps me be better.  It helps me draw my strength from God as He has promised the best for me.  It binds that relationship and trust.  It grounds me.  This is the perspective that is different; this encompasses the journey.

I am thankful for you, my friends and family, and for your prayers and support.  I just really love you.  Thanks for checking in on me.

Round 2- ding ding!!

I have learned lately just how important it is to be me and to be true to who we are. Accept things for what they are and not fear them. And to celebrate my birthday was amazing- 36 years old felt good!!

Thank you for your prayers and support. I am thinking that I will scoot back into some normalcy this round. Like the normalcy before treatment. I don't want to push it, but seems like it will be doable. Everything feels so different, but I will just see what will happen.

Love you! Amanda

Let's hear it for Round 2!! Well, Round 2 isn't exciting but the fact that Round 1 is over is great! This round should be a little easier. It's one type of medicine and a little easier on the senses, so to speak.

I ventured out this weekend to Florida. Yay! It was great. Great because it was Florida, because I was with my family and because it was my birthday on Saturday. Never have celebrated March 10 with my toes in the sand. Most I did was go out to eat! ;)