Chemo #10 and upates 12/14/16

Hi,
Another 3 weeks have gone by.  I have a few updates. 

I had treatment #10 on Monday 12/12.  I am on my downhill starting today Wed thru Saturday or so. 

My doctor said that we are doing 2 more treatments, so that my last one would be January 23. However, its not my last one.  She said it is my last one for a break and that I will be resuming chemo in the near future.  She couldn't say exactly when at the moment.  I am still convinced that she thinks new meds are coming out and wants to keep this regimen that is working.  Its a bit of blow to my spirit but as long as I know what I have to do and what I have to prepare for, then I will continue to fight the fight that is before me. 

My side effects from treatment are taking a toll.  I have blurred vision that keeps getting worse.  Many times, the fatigue is from the actual chemo and my body is relatively strong, however, my body is now starting to get tired.  Muscles are weak. 

I was in a "moment" this morning and got this reminder from my Bible app... "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us- whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him."  1 John 5:14-15.  Sounds complicated, but it just means to let Him know our concerns, ask big prayers, give Him our worries and He will give us rest and peace.

Thank you for your prayers, notes, thoughts for me and my family.

I love that its Christmas time.  I look forward to fun new memories of the season.  I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in 2017!


XOXO

Love,
Amanda

Chemo #9 11/21 and big updates

Hi!
Sorry I have not been in touch. I've been living normal which means I take my attention away from this cancer stuff and live life! :):) Since my last treatment, my weeks 2 and 3 were really good again! I am truly getting the hang of this!

I had a scan last Monday 11/14 and it was CLEAR!  Still no cancer. :) my next scan should be in February (every 3 months forever).

Chemo treatment #9 was today and it seemed to go well. More tired today, didn't sleep well last night.

Talked to Dr Harper today about what she would do about second opinion. She says she would get a second opinion when it comes back. So for now, continue on.  I concur-No second opinion for now.

I also asked her about next steps in treatment. She says she will likely go to 12 treatments with the chemo. This means only 3 more treatments and my last one would be Jan 23!!! Happy dance! I will still continue the Perjeta and Herceptin intravenously every 3 weeks for a very long time- prob until it doesn't work anymore or new/better meds are out. I thought we were waiting on new meds that I would transition to coming off the chemo- but don't think this is the case for now. The reason to stop chemo is that my body can't take much more than 12 full doses.  If and when new meds come out, I will switch to them when this current regimen doesn't work anymore (maybe that was her point this whole time and I just caught on.). Regardless, I will still be on a really good regimen even without the chemo. Check out Perjeta's website.

Last week, I signed up for a life insurance policy that waived pre existing conditions. That was almost the BEST news I had this past week. That was something I tried to take care of right before I was sick 5 years ago and always missed the agent on phone to sign up. A big load off!

Today, I interviewed to be a volunteer to make my Oncology Unit resource library better for cancer patients. I am excited about this. I complained a lot to myself and people with me, and figured I would just do something about it. :)

I need to digest the info about coming off of chemo. I need to get ready for this switch and know that it's ok. I have to trust Dr Harper completely in this decision. My personality says to deal with whatever it is if it is working. So to come off of something working to something that may not work makes me a little nervous.

Dr Harper told me to be extra careful of being around people with flu or stomach bug. This could put me in the hospital. Please- if you know you are sick, tell me to get away or avoid me please.

God provides in so many ways for me and my family. So thankful on this night. Very suitable for the Thanksgiving weekend. I wish everyone a blessed holiday and a wonderful time with your friends and family. My mom hosted our dinner last night as I will feel terrible on Thursday and Friday. I will stay home. My heart wants to cook like I always do for an army. Oh well. No big deal. I will be feeling good for all of the Christmas season after 12/19. This will be good. :)

Happy Thanksgiving. Again, I am incredibly grateful to God in this season. He is my rock, my everything- without Him, I would be nothing but fearful, doubtful, abandoned, sad, crushed, depressed, hopeless, dying...but with Him, I am fearless, doubtless, loved, peaceful, comforted, courageous, hopeful, living.   Believing in His Almighty Power is an amazing experience not when it's a last resort and nowhere else to go, but always believing in who He is no matter the circumstances.  He changes everything.  Paired with 2 breast cancer episodes, I am truly humbled by His grace.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Find the good in the season and be a light to those you are with. :)

Love, Amanda

Chemo #8 10/31 and update

Hi,
Gosh. I just wrote for more than an hour and all but done, my phone shut down and lost it all. Wow. I will do the best I can...again...

The last 3 weeks have been good and interesting and with some developments. After treatment, Week 1 was mostly bad. It was my typical down week

Week 2 was good avoiding colds but had a scare that required a colonoscopy. It was clean and clear. No issues! I was much more in depth the first time I wrote this. Suffice it to say it wasn't that bad. Get one if you need one or of age to schedule it!

Week 3 was good. I have allergies that act like they want to develop into cold. No big deal for now. I had to cut my nails back, at least half way toward quick. Most people will think "oh gosh, she is a serious nail biter". They are scabby and gross. I don't like nail biting; it's a bad habit. You know it is- my nail biting friends.  I also cannot handle popping fingers. Both give me chills down my back. Bottom line, my nails are pretty gross but I go on like they are normal. Who cares!

Also, a few days ago I talked to someone my age, with work/family similar to mine- who is getting treatment out of state. As a result of this conversation, I do believe I will get a second opinion in December- after another scan I will do in about 3 weeks.

At my last treatment, I was informed that we would do another scan in 3 weeks but also learned that the cancer can return while enduring chemo treatments. I thought I was in coasting mode but apparently not (and not sure that coasting seasons will be something I can enjoy- this remains to be seen).  I think you can understand the difference. In addition to this, I am now going into the unknown.  My point of reference is 5 years ago, I had 18 chemo treatments (totaling 6 AC and 12 low doses of Taxotere) and 33 radiation treatments and double mastectomy. With each was a definitive end and definitive result. Now, I am going into my 8th full dose treatment of taxotere with two other meds. Moving forward, I don't have a number we will end at. I don't know how my body will hold up. I don't know what my next meds will look like. I don't have a definitive result. I was hoping I would be done by October and that's not the case. I am annoyed more than anything but managing well.

Now, this week is a little emotional for me.  I have treatment tomorrow, Monday 10/31 Halloween. :) but it's also 5 years to the dates and days that I found out the first time I was diagnosed. Monday is the day my appointments got moved and I went to my endocrinologist where she pointed out to me my golf ball size tumor in my breast. Tuesday was mammo, ultrasound and biopsy. Thursday 11/3 was the phone call.

We are wrapping up breast cancer awareness month. I have heard encouraging stories that are good to hear.  I offer this to you...Get your mammograms. Do self exams once per month- figure it out and take it serious. Don't skip your annual appointments with your OBGYN. Confession- I didn't take self exams serious and I skipped appointments. This is a different kind of encouragement but please take it as I care about you.

Thanks for loving me the way you do. You would not believe how my work peeps love me. Store 8 rocks it out with gifts all the time. Store 1 rocks it with hugs and laughs. My 3 bosses love me like I am their daughter- one of them doesn't have a choice. :):) My colleagues, customers, friends are caring and supportive and patient. I am in awe all of the time over people who care about me. I have said this before, but it's authentic and beautiful. God shows His love thru you and these people. He knows retreating and withdrawing are not my thing, but receiving love from my friends and family is.  I praise God and thank Him everyday, it is what speaks to my heart the most.  Xoxo.

Not exactly what I wrote the first time, but I wrote this for another hour. It's exactly what it needs to be. ;) I just went to publish this and joke is on me. The other draft saved in my list as draft.. Aye ya ya, oh well. I got to see Cubs win game #5! (also- to those of you who are reading this and was in the recent SMPS class that said double spacing is not acceptable in business writing any longer- then why in the world does the iPhone require a double space to achieve a period?! Feel free to message me about that! Ha!)

Lots of love,
Amanda

Blessed.

What a blessing of a week...

Saturday was the Lexington Race for the Cure. Approx 90 people showed up to run and walk. Several others of you could not be there but donated to my team. We raised over $5,000 that will be used to bring awareness to breast cancer and pay for research. Thank you for being a part of this, a part of my journey. I am blessed and don't really have the words to express how it feels to feel so loved and cared for.

On Sunday, we left for Charleston SC for Jacks fall break. We evacuated Wednesday morning at 6:30am and went home.

It's been a long but good week for me. It has felt very normal for me and that's good. Normal means that I am not preoccupied with this process and energy level back to fairly normal levels.  The issue is going into week one of side effects and knowing the hit my body takes. I am determined to push hard thru this. I have to be careful now that it's cold and flu season, so even though I feel well, I can't run out everywhere.

I appreciate your prayers and thoughts for me. I will try to update more but I don't want this to turn into "Amanda's update on side effects". I like to use this blog to update you on real updates and it helps me process real issues. It keeps me accountable to God's promises. Love you.

Chemo treatment #7 is on Monday 10/10.

More later...

Xoxo
Amanda

Focus on What Matters and Details for Saturday Komen Race

As the Komen Race for the Cure draws near this Saturday, I am OVERWHELMED with support from people who know me and love me, to those who don’t really know me.  Thank you so much for your donations and being a part of my team. 

During my first fight, diagnosed November 3, 2011, I experienced so many friends and family genuinely loving me through this journey.  It was then that I thought, if I had to paint a picture to capture my experience, it would be God in the center with HIS Army of Angels sent out to watch over me and my family, protect us, love us, feed us, etc.  I also sensed and still sense other angels that I cannot see that stand post for me daily, many of them I may know, like my Aunt Betty and many of them I may not.  This is where my Komen Race for the Cure team name, Amanda’s Army of Angels originated.  God has sent His army of prayer warriors and called people who care for me to stand by me.  Four years and four months later, on May 30, 2016,  The same stupid breast cancer came back.    

I have never so intensely felt two emotions at one time.  I feel incredibly grateful for being alive and that an Army of Angels is yet again by my side.  At the same time, I feel totally dejected for having to deal with the side effects of chemo and completely resent the fact that my family must endure this again.  It doesn’t seem fair, yet it all seems so worth it.  I want normalcy- something I don’t have, yet I am incredibly blessed for what I do have- life and independence.  As time progresses, this dichotomy of emotions becomes more and more of a fight for my attention and focus.  I have to stay grateful, humble, unexpectant, true to self, easy yoke… Matthew 11: 28-30.  “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  This is what must remain true and how I must find my resolve.

This is what I needed today.  A reminder of this journey.  A reminder of what is true.  A reminder that I am so blessed.  So blessed and humbled.  I cannot take on anything more.  If I do, it will result in self destruction. Take no heavy heart, no worry, no fear, no comparison, no wish list, no expectation, no self protection, no drama.  Appreciate the hour.  Appreciate the Army.  Appreciate God’s blessings, gifts and favors.

Here is a good song in honor of our walk on Saturday… “Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg

 

DETAILS FOR SATURDAY 

Race Packets and Custom T-shirts are available for pick up at Lynn Imaging, 328 Old Vine St.

Thursday 9/29, Friday 9/30, and Saturday morning 7:30-8:30AM. 

On Saturday...

Before Race: Park at Lynn Imaging (Back Parking Lot) and come in for breakfast and coffee.

7:30 - 8:30 AM  Breakfast at Lynn Imaging

8:30 AM Walk to Start Line

9:00 AM Race Begins

After Race: Go to Minglewood, 159 N Limestone, Lexington KY.   They are opening early for us.  They will have a brunch menu, $5 mimosas and bloodies, and a fun pink drink.

You can still join my team or donate: http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/LSV_KentuckyAffiliate?team_id=364964&pg=team&fr_id=6552

Update- Port is in.

Hi! :) The last couple of weeks have been fairly good. I seemed to recover from treatment pretty quickly. However, in this week 3 (my best week), I developed a bad cold. So much so that I had to stay in bed, get rest and forego my plans for most of the week.  I am on an antibiotic, seems to be helping some.

I had surgery this morning to have the port placed in my chest. That went well. It was only about half hour and Dr AJ at Baptist in Lexington (surgeon who did my mastectomy) did it. He is such a good doctor/surgeon....So the port is done, and move on. :)

I am scheduled for chemo #6 on Monday.

It's been a whirlwind as usual. But overall I am doing well. I hate that I lost time in my good week to sickness. Oh well. My spirits are good most of the time. If I have good energy, I resume all normal activity- work, Jack, dinner, homework, clean, etc. I certainly don't waste time with good energy. I am not walking or running much right now. Concerned about losing physical strength. So, I am going to try to focus more on that area once I bounce back from all of this sick, surgery stuff.

Join my Komen team if you want. Donate or register to walk or run in Komen Race on October 1 in Lexington. To those of you who are part of this, thank you. I am going to cry the entire time. It's so emotional to know that I have so much love and support. I am going to be a mess! It doesn't take a race to know you are out there, I am emotional about it all the time. Being in person with a team of people appropriately called "Amanda's Army of Angels" is special. Very special and very humbling. I don't take any of it for granted.  It's one of my favorite things about this journey- the love of friends and family for me. It's genuine, pure, authentic. My angels sent from God, just for me, just for this journey.

http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/LSV_KentuckyAffiliate?team_id=364964&pg=team&fr_id=6552

XOXOXOXO

Amanda

Chemo #5

Hi. :)
I had chemo treatment number 5 today. I was stuck 4 times and they finally got it. I was worried that they wouldn't get it and what would we do? Not have chemo? The girls who do my bloodwork said my veins were really hard. It sounded like this was they problem with the chemo sticks as well.

So in this new development, I am going to get a port in September prior to my next treatment on Sept 19th. The port requires surgery, can get infected, and will produce an ugly scar around my collarbone area. Oh well. It's time that I get it and save my veins.  We have been using my right arm only. My doctor does not allow us to use the left arm due to one lymph node taken out and radiation on that side from the first time. So she prefers the port before switching arms.

I am feeling good after treatment. Took the puppy to the vet, took son to baseball practice. Came home and cooked spaghetti, mac n cheese, banana muffins for tonight and for the week. Very productive. :) I have three meetings for work over the next 2 days, out of this house! And from there I will go downhill by Wed afternoon and into next week. It's getting harder to recover quickly.

In 6 more treatments, it will be January 2, 2017. It is then that I will ask my doctor about a new plan. It's not guaranteed to change right away but she will know more about the new meds. I think the tricky part is knowing when exactly these new meds will be available.  Until then, chemo it is!

I am feeling pretty well recovered from the ovaries out. My hot flashes are about the same but probably with a little more intensity in them. It's an event when they come on. My insides go to 500 degrees and stay there for about 3-5 minutes. I average about 2 per hour or so.

I feel good. Laying down to go to sleep now, and probably won't sleep well due to steroids.  I like productivity and feeling good. It's fueling for now as I know what's coming later.

Take care my sweet friends. Thanks for your caring loving hearts and prayers for me. It means the world.

To God be the glory. I am cancer free and I am living another day to fight this horrible disease.

Xoxo. We got this!

Surgery went well

Hi. I had my surgery to remove my ovaries on August 23rd. I am recovering okay from that. It's a little emotional probably because my body is adjusting but also because sometimes I feel like I keep getting knocked down... I get up and get knocked down.  Chemo, surgeries, more chemo...The moral of the story is I always get up.  Even though I feel like Rocky beat half to death sometimes, I'll be damned that this is going to take me down.

I just keep going back to God for the answers and the drive.

I'll write more later.

Xoxo
Amanda

Productive Week Despite Downturn

Hi.
This past week was interesting, productive, progressive despite the chemo effect downturn. 


Picking up Ned at the LEX airport on 8/5/16.

Jack turned 9 years old on Aug 6th.  On July 30th, I was able to hang with him and 4 boys at KY Kingdom Amusement Park in Louisville to celebrate.

We have officially had a 10 week old puppy, now, for one week.  His name is Ned. This is big for us, as we are not pet people.  I am severely allergic to dogs and to most animals, outdoor everything, etc, but we took the risk with a miniature Australian Shepherd and miniature red poodle mix, called a Mini Aussiedoodle.  The poodle makes the dog much more hypoallergenic.  The result is that my allergies are actually doing ok with him. Surprisingly, he really is very, very low allergenic though sometimes my eyes swell, but 90% of the time, I do okay with him.  I keep my hands washed and clothes changed if I handle him a lot. :)

Jack started 4th grade on Wednesday, Aug 10th.  He is settling in very well and seems to like it.  His reading teacher is his favorite.  This is good, because he doesn't like to read so much.

I found out that I am cancer free and now I just get to fight cancer in prevention mode.  I know this is great news, but the chemotherapy is a tough trek though.  I had chemo on Monday Aug 8th and gosh it was hard this time.  Lethargic, fatigued, sore just takes over when it's ready and there is no fighting it.  So, for the most part Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I did nothing.  I forced a few things here and there, but even today, Monday, I am not on a full upswing just yet.  I am thinking I will be better by Wednesday.

I am having my ovaries out next Tuesday Aug 23rd, and assuming my blood counts look good, I can do this and not skip a treatment.  Its laparoscopic, so it should be not too hard to recover as well.  Then, my next chemo treatment will be on Aug 29th, just in time for our 13th wedding anniversary on Aug 30th and Labor Day weekend.  Oh well. It is what it is! Chris hates when I say this, but its true.

Jack and Chris have been very good to me.  Jack is very helpful, gives me random kisses and hugs, he makes me laugh and he is not bothered by my bald head.  Chris is extremely helpful and I suppose I could say the same thing about him. :)  We make a good team. 

Speaking of baldness...I just read this morning that Norton Healthcare in Louisville implemented new technology to prevent hair loss from chemo.  Its a cooling cap that limits blood flow to scalp so that the chemo can't reach the hair.  Way to go Norton!  I am partial to these folks. :)  Would love to get my treatment there, but its too far for my Momma who does ALL of this with me.  If you know Dottie, you know just how much of a treat it is to have her with me and how lucky I am that I get to have her as my Momma! (I know its not luck, its really God's blessing!)

Speaking of a different facility...I am not going to get a second opinion for now.  The cancer is gone and that was the goal.  Now our next goal is the BEST prevention medicine to stop this thing from coming back, starve it and kill it to its core!  At this past appointment last Monday, my oncologist basically said this, "We are going to keep you alive until the new drugs come out."  I asked for a ballpark on how long I had to continue with chemo treatment and she said "you can ask me again in January".  I think this is because she is going to review the released new meds coming out this December and actually use those on me.  And until she knows a release date, she is keeping me alive with the current regimen. 

As of today, I am introducing 2 shakes a day filled with green veges and all that goodness that is supposedly good for your body.  I decided this doesn't have to replace anything, it can just add to my day.  We tried some this weekend and its very doable, assuming I don't get lazy and don't make them.

Thank you for your care, your concern, your love, your prayers. You mean the world to me.  Together, we can overcome and redeem difficult times.

Komen Race For the Cure, Lexington, KY-- October 1-- Click here to join my team or donate!!! :) 

XOXO Amanda

RESULTS OF SCAN

Drumroll please!  I like the kind with the 7 person drum line in a jam praising God right about now, doesn't that sound like fun!!

THE CANCER IS GONE!!!
Complete Resolution of all affected lymph nodes and no evidence of cancer anywhere else according to the CT scan that scanned all my innards. :)

And they just stuck me for my chemo treatment and one stick and felt easy. AND I am going to hold off on ovaries out until we can fit it between treatments without messing up what we are doing well. :)

Happy days my friends!  The flip side and the next question- how long do I continue chemo? Well. It's not what I thought. I lost a lot of bets. :) I will stay on this regimen for a while. Basically she said I can ask her about it again in January. So fine. No biggie. I can do this. This was the best 3 weeks I have had since I started treatments. I just need to be in good rhythm and not force things that are not meant to be.

God is so good. He is so trustworthy. I have not been worried about this. He is good in all circumstances and in all things. All I have to do is really trust His word!  I trust him with all of me, all of my time, all of my family and all of my friends. My pastor asked recently in a service, "Are you all in?"  And my auto response was yes I am. Then he dove into ways we may not be all in and it really made me step back and ask this to myself.  After some thought, my answer is yes, I am all in. Done. Just like that. Every difficult circumstance can question where He is and can question if we are all in or not. I get that and there could be another day that calls that into question. But I have faith and faith is not always easy- He never said it would be.

Thank you and I love you!
Amanda

Important CT Scan on 8/4

Hi :) it's me! :) LOL!

Ok, so here is what is going on...Tomorrow which is Thursday, Aug 4th is a CT scan. This scan will show us if the cancer is gone, if it's shrunk, if it's grown, etc. Just to be clear- we want it to be gone. :)

The results of this scan will determine various paths of action.
1- It will determine when I will go to one of best facilities in country on cancer, like Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN, to get a second opinion and possible new treatment or prevention regimen.
2- It will determine if I get chemo on Monday. (I am scheduled for ovaries out on 8/16, oncologist wants to skip this chemo so that I am well enough for that. BUT if I am close to dropping chemo then I would just wait to do that surgery.)
3- It will determine possible different course of action of ovaries out as that could change altogether with 2nd opinion.

The scan is at 10:20am. I may not know results until Monday when I see Rachel. I have decided to not text her to ask for the results before then because if she says it's not gone, then I will have lots of questions about where it is and if it's shrunk etc. If it is gone and she feels like texting me the good news, then fine and I will gladly report that here.  But otherwise I will find out on Monday.

I called my insurance and they don't need referrals and they do approve second opinions. I checked all facilities of interest if in-network and guess what? All of them were in except one... University of Kentucky Markey Cencer Center. What in the world?

Another huge piece of news. We are getting a puppy on Friday. :) Miniature Aussiedoodle (half Australian Shepherd and half poodle). Omg. Nervous nelly here! I'll let you know how that goes. Jack is so very excited. :)

Thank you for donating or being part of my Komen team!!

Lots of love from your crazy favorite cancer chick!  😘🙏🏻💃🏼💪🏻😎😷🙃💓👶🏻🐾
Amanda

Happy Friday!

Hi, I hope this post finds everyone doing well.  I am on the upswing.  Energy is pretty good, eating is good...no rash and no fever this time.  So, week #2 has been better than most so far.  (I do have a little rash at site of injection and around my hands, I am downplaying it until I am told its a problem. That is why I wrote it in parenthesis. :))

So, I know last week I wrote about a "difficult week".  Please understand that I have a good attitude, I am upbeat, I don't have very many emotional episodes as you would think.  Please know that when I post to this blog, I share all of my experiences- the good and the bad.  This is a very serious situation and will continue to be, and I may choose to tell you about the times I stay up til 2am to process.  But I also may tell you about the times that I laugh at myself.  If we are going to do this together, stay with me and swing through it all- the good and not so good.

This week, I did see Dr. Jim Roach with the Integrative Medicine Center.  So, he is basically "Dr. Botanical Treatment" himself, I just made that up.  It was a very interesting experience.  I don't have a final judgement just yet, and I am keeping an open mind.  But when he told me I couldn't eat chicken eggs, I said "the eggs I buy at the grocery?" he said "correct, but you can eat duck eggs."  I said I am not eating duck eggs!  And then I can eat pistachios and walnuts but must take Zinc after I eat them.  There are about a thousand more restrictions and consequences. I am still sifting through it to see what I can do.  Bottom line is that I am naturally just not a botanical kind of person with or without cancer.  I am a realistic kind of person.  I live in a small town with a Walmart for a grocery, 5 Mexican restaurants, 5 pizza places, McDonalds, Lee's Chicken and Dairy Queen.  I MIGHT have a different perspective if I had a whole foods market around the corner and a farmer's market every week.  Regardless, I need to see what will work for me and I am not opposed but it will take work! I will report back.

Also, my family and I made significant steps to embracing the idea to get a second opinion, possibly switching doctors, finding a nicer facility, etc.  If I wake up in the middle of the night, these are the things racing through my mind.  I will report back on this.

I am going to celebrate Jack's birthday on Saturday by taking 5 children to KY Kingdom.  Chris will be there, but this seems ridiculous for me. :) I will be fine, I promise...I will take breaks, stay in the shade and not touch anything, except a funnel cake because I can and I want to! :) LOL!

Not sure who all reads this, but if you do, I love you and I appreciate that you care. :) By now, the newness has worn off and some people don't stay plugged in.  If you are still plugged in, I know you care and thank you from my heart. ;) Hope you are enjoying your summer.  Jack starts school in 10 days, that is crazy!  But I look forward to it for him.  Structure in the middle of all of this is a good thing for him.

Komen Lexington Race, October 1, 2016
Click here to join my team or to donate: Amanda's Army of Angels

Update for a difficult week

Hi,
This week has been an interesting week.  It's been a difficult week most of all.  But, we are all learning to deal with this disease and are choosing to be faithful and thankful.

On Monday, before treatment, a few of us met with my Oncologist.  I asked her the question, "after this episode, what is the likelihood of this coming back?"  Basically, its what we have known...according to her, it is coming back, its just a matter of when.  This fight for my life got really serious in those moments.  It is not easy to hear those words that you will have to do this again. 

The chemo has been tolerable until today, it is just not very fun.  Just the weight and fatigue of it is upon me. 

I have skipped over a lot of details.  This has been a week of reflection and process.  I am excited for each day I have here.  This is how I have to choose to live.  I don't have a time clock on my life, but I am pretty aware that it is probably shorter than most, at this point.

I have to and enjoy seeking God's peace in this.  There is no other way to do this and feel good about it.  I feel so much better when I choose to believe just how trustworthy He is.  He makes all things impossible, possible. And that makes me very happy! :)  None of us have a guarantee on our life. 

Let me shout this out...I hate cancer!  And listen you healthy people...get out there and get your check ups, mammograms, colonoscopies, etc!  There is a reason why they screen these things.  Don't wait until you have a problem.  AND if you do have a problem, pick up your phone and call your doctor right now and make an appointment.  If you need a referral, let me know, I will get you to the right doctor! :) LOL!

XOXO Lots of love, Amanda

Chemo treatment is on Monday

Chemo treatment #3 is Monday 7/18 morning (tomorrow). The most exciting thing about this treatment is that it is #3- we will be doing a scan at some point over the next weeks to see if the cancer is GONE! Can I get a whoop whoop!?  Let's not get too excited just yet.  Let me get the scan first. I will report back on the scheduled date.

I have been preparing for chemo a little better this time. I made stuffed shells for the freezer. It's a good recipe, Chris really liked it. Pioneer Woman's Red White and Green Stuffed Shells. I also got some steel cut oats with dried fruits, brown sugar, nuts that I will like in my down days. I am pretty excited about that. I am stocked with a little more chemo friendly foods and drinks I think I will like. I just wrote that and I thought to myself "I am so optimistic today"- and now I am lauging at myself. Because in 4-5 days, I might just be writing how horrible the food is. Lol!  That will make me laugh only for about 10 seconds in that moment, but right now I find it very funny.  It's all about the perspective of the day! :):):)

I watched a movie Miracles in Heaven with Jack today. I knew I would cry and I hate movies that make me cry. It was exhausting. There are two things I will say that were good from this. One is that in all reality it was probably therapeutic for me to watch it and cry a good cry. Secondly, going to bed tonight, Jack tells me that he felt safe watching the movie. It reminded him that God is always there no matter what. I'll take that anytime! ❤️

So about tomorrow, yes I am anxious. Yes, I hate going into this knowing what the next week or two is going to be like. I don't want to be stuck in my arm more than one time to get it right. But, overall I am okay. I am still learning this journey all over again. And my emotions have calmed down a lot. The transition from normalcy to the newness of fighting cancer for the second time is almost complete. Now what follows is the transition to my new reality. This is just beginning and will take a lot of time. Though, this is probably less of a transition and really just more of a process that will continue on forever for me. Daily perspective is one of the components and it will be sharper than Bobby Flay's knives.

Thanks for your love, your support, all the ways you are to me and my family-and do for me and my family; you know what you are and what you do. I love each and every one of you!

FYI...
I am gearing up a team for the Komen race, October 1 in Lexington, Kentucky. Let's get some exercise and raise money to fight this stupid ridiculous dumb breast cancer crap.  I don't care if it's a good day or a bad day, I will be there! More details to come. It's a 5k. Start getting your training in now. :)

5 Minute Update and Another Good Day

Hi! I am doing really good today.  Yesterday was a good day as well.  Yesterday, I left the house at 7:15am and returned at 5:30pm.  It was a full day and it went pretty good!  I was running at about 80% energy level, but overall good.

With treatment comes changes in levels of energy, levels of fatigue, levels of initiative, levels of pain, levels of general interest, levels of taste.  (I like to try to put words to better define my experience.)  Energy level is the most long lasting side effect for me as time passes between treatments.  All other side effects go away for the most part.  I end up liking my coffee, but I do have aversions to some foods and drinks that never really leave me.  I probably have about 85% taste right now.  Foods just aren't what they usually are.

I decided that on my good days, I would exercise as much as possible.  I am concerned for muscle atrophy that can occur during my bad days.  This is me talking, not my doctor or anyone else.  So, for the last couple of nights when the sun goes down, I have walked the neighborhood.  I am not breaking a sweat or breaking records, but something is better than nothing.  I would love this to be a jog for a couple of miles.  Right now its walking about 1.25 miles. 

Also, I scheduled an outpatient surgery for August 16th to have my ovaries out.  This will permanently get rid of naturally produced estrogen.  Estrogen feeds my cancer- its got to go!  This means I will be in menopause.  I will not be able to take the medication to help with menopause because that is an estrogen provided therapy.  Obviously, I am not a candidate for that.  So in the weeks to come, I will be reading up on this.  It may not be too far from what I am experiencing now in terms of body temperature- really hot or cold.  And my moods, as I have mentioned before are random. LOL.  That may mean business as usual! 

Someone mentioned that I should check out the Doctor Roach Integrative Medicine Center in Midway, KY.  I made an appointment with Dr. Jim Roach on July 26th.  I am continuing my current program with my oncologist and chemotherapy, etc.  I am looking into this for any other advice that could complement my chemo and help my body fight with bigger guns.  What I like most about this place is the nutrition advice.  Well, I like the sounds of it.  If it doesn't include ice cream, cupcakes or fried chicken, I may hate it.  Just sayin'! 

I am continuously comforted in God's peace.  I pray for Jack and Chris to also experience this peace, not forced by what we think is peace, but by only what God can provide.  I am solid in my relationship with God, and He is my number one go-to for healing, peace, comfort.  Thank you for your prayers and your faith.  :)

Good day today! :):)

Hi. :) I have had a great day today!  Last week went downhill until Friday. Had great days Friday, Saturday, and today- Sunday. I have taken regular breaks in between activities. I have a busy week at work coming up so as long as I take my breaks I should be fine. :).

I was at church today and the message was from Luke 8...a woman who touched Jesus's robe and was healed from 12 years of bleeding. She was not an interruption for him to go heal someone else.  She was His daughter and took time for her. None of us are an interruption to the work of God, and no issue or problem is more important than someone else's. He has time for all of us and He doesn't have to be a last resort, He is always at work in our lives. Thanks for letting me share that, as it is so comforting to me to know that not just me but all of us are cared for by Him.

I am so thankful for the good and bad days. I will remind myself of this on the bad days. :). I am getting the hang of this for now. Lol!

I will write more sooner than later. Xoxo. Amanda

Happy Fourth of July!

This weekend has been filled with highs and lows. I tried to get a pedicure and became dizzy, lost probably 95% vision and had to call Chris to pick me up. The next morning I was fine and successfully accomplished it. I have been out socializing a few hours here and there but most hours have been spent on couch and in bed.

I cannot fight the rhythms of treatment. They are stronger than me. Even if I feel good (normally I would run 100 errands, go to the grocery 3x, and do 100 more things), I must hold myself back to reserve my energy. It's very very hard for me to do that.

On Thursday I was feeling frustrated. Today I am helping myself work thru this and remembering to not fight it. Enjoy the good moments and lay down in the bad moments. I am feeling very tired at the moment where my levels feel like they have dipped again.

Still  no sign of rash. Yay. I feel incredibly blessed for my friends and family and work friends who are all there for me for anything. I mean really blessed. God is in this with us. Love you all.

Happy Fourth of July!!! :) xoxoxo

Blah. (Just made myself laugh with this title)

Chemotherapy sucks. I did fine getting treatment on Monday, even though I got stuck 4x before we got going. The inside of my right arm looks like a total wreck. So long sleeve shirts for me. I did well over last couple of days. Today is not so good. It's just a bad day. I don't want to move, don't want to do anything. My rhythm of treatments are not in line with Summer fun. It's interfering with the Fourth of July weekend. We decided to not travel to see my husband's family.

It's here...the down kind of day. Physically, I am experiencing muscle aches and just that flu like feeling that you hear about with chemo.  The physical downess can have an effect on my mental state sometimes, like today. I want my hair back. I want to be in the sun. I want my energy back. I want to run the roads working.  I want to open the sunroof and sing in my car.  I want to be able to drink my coffee, etc etc. I am so frustrated!

Bottom line, the medicine is making me better. This is temporary. I have to get past this to get well. I need to stop complaining and rest up. There will be better days ahead.

Chemo #2 is upon me

Hi. I have chemo treatment#2 (tomorrow as of now) on Monday 6/27. I get blood work done at 8am, meet with Dr Harper at 8:45am and go into treatment directly after.  I will probably be there til 1:30-2pm. I took steroids today getting ready for it and ate a great meal tonight cooked by my brother in law. He is always ready to put anything on the grill. :). I am doing well. I am experiencing some hot flashes tonight. I am afraid to say that I think this will get more frequent as I remember the last time. I am always in anticipation of the treatment. So hopefully I will sleep ok. My cough is still with me, but it is different.  I will ask about this with my doctor tomorrow. I know the treatments are working so I really believe there is no way it could be growing or spreading. Maybe it's just holes left in my bronchial tubes from where the nodes have gone down in swelling. I'll take that! :) xoxoxo. God is my refuge and my foundation. So thankful to have not just a rock but the one and only Great I Am's rock beneath me. :). I'll report how this one goes. Lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Movie of Pics- Turn your sound on

 

Hi, so I have been wanting to post pics for you, so I created a little Movie on my iPhone.  Threw some things together for you.  Gloves on was first day of treatment.  Other shots of me are in my new hair pieces. :) I am doing well this week.  Almost 100%.  I am dealing with my hair gone much easier the second time around.  :)  That's your prayers working. :) XOXOXO

 

Click here for YouTube link if you can't view below. 

 

Today- It gets real.

Hi,
You will be happy to know that I went to Chicago again this past weekend and had a great weekend!  I feel pretty close to 100%.  The side effects have let up quite a bit this week.  The only ones that are present are that taste is a little off, my nose layers are stripped so its pretty bloody most of the time, only a touch of muscle pain from time to time, other issues where I have to stay close to a restroom, and the big one right now...my hair is officially coming out.  Its not falling out of my head yet, but if I tug on 10 strands, those 10 strands come out. 

So, I decided that today I must be a big girl.  I am going to shave my head.  I am mad about it.  Mainly because a wig can be weird and uncomfortable.  So, I am going to try to find some cool ways to do scarves and such this time.  And it screams "she is sick".  I know I am sick but I don't want my body screaming it at people.  I want to live normal.  Again, this is the fight in my head.

I made an appointment with my hair person, Tiny, at 6:30pm at his shop. This will be difficult for both of us.  The first time I went to him is when my hair just started growing back in October 2012 and he highlighted it for me.  His mom passed away from breast cancer.  We often talk about his mom, laugh, joke, talk about how my hair has grown back so healthy.  We have been good for each other.  But today will be much different. 

Last time, Barb, my Mom, Holly and I played "Eye of the Tiger" while shaving my head in my kitchen.  I may be playing it all day today in the car. 

I just ate a Sprinkles cupcake, lemon.  That makes me happy. :) The fruit ones are much better than the others, I think.

So, today it gets real. 

Crazy lady

Well hello!  Good grief, you would not believe the rashes I am dealing with. I got steroids yesterday and I am doing better now. My doctor said to stay out of the sun. I promise you that I have stayed out of it. But what I think happened was about 3 days before treatment, I was in the sun and got a little red in some areas. Instead of my body healing a sunburn like normal, I think the chemo attacked any inflammation in my skin and made it worse like a 3rd degree burn/poison ivy. I hope this doesn't happen again, because I want to stay on this regimen.  If I have rashes like this, there is no way I can sustain it. So hoping these go away quickly especially before the next treatment. Steroids, Benedryl, cream, cooling packs are helping!

I went into the office today for a bit. It's good to see my peeps. But, I have to take one day at a time here. For example, next Tuesday, I am supposed to go to a meeting but it's also calculated to be the day I should start losing the majority of my hair. So, while I want normalcy, the fact is that chemo side effects complicates things. I am a very social person without much of a filter and this makes it easier in some ways because I am open to talk about it all. But it also makes it more difficult in some ways because I might look different coupled with everyone's concern for me can be a bit overwhelming for me and them.  So I am going to have to just figure this out day by day.

Emotionally, I am doing well. I had a hard day last Thursday that was draining. But I have been doing well with just little bursts of tears from time to time. The song "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran makes me sad yet happy. It references 70 years old and damnit I want to live til I am 70.  So as you can see, emotionally I am probably realistically a wreck. LOL. But I tell you I am doing well overall. Haha!  This is cracking me up to write this. Usually I would rewrite this whole paragraph but I won't. I will give you the satisfaction of how crazy I sound and Chris says welcome to his world!!! LOL!

Sorry that I am not posting pics. I usually post from my phone and I haven't figured it out just yet. It wants to connect to google cloud pics yada yada yada.

Thank you for your love, prayers, support in all of this mess. :) Love you in this with me.

My new normal

Hi,
I had a fun weekend in Chicago this weekend with neighbors and seeing Ryan play in his band, Stache. It's always best times to see the band, Ryan and Kelli and friends! I suited up in a hat, cover up, took a chair, drank plenty of water. Enjoyed it tremendously!  It was a good refresher and time away. Today we are traveling back and my body is not doing as well. I thought I had escaped the side effects from my first treatment but that certainly has not been the case. I am not dealing with nausea which is good. I am dealing with soreness, fatigue, rashes, mouth issues. I figure it will get better in next couple of weeks just in time for the next tx on June 27. Still holding out hope that I don't lose all my hair. Today is certainly not one of my better days but I believe tomorrow will be. :)

I don't want to bore you with details over next couple of weeks so I may not post a ton.  If something changes, I will post. I will be checking in to let you know how I am doing.

Xoxo. Amanda

Phillipians 4: 6-7

Phillipians 4: 6-7
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

My Resolution

Well, last night I felt actually pretty good. Ate dinner well. Went to sleep at around 11:30pm. Didn't sleep soundly but slept pretty good to 5:30am. Woke up feeling really great. So I decided to hang out with Jack today. However, at one point Jack looked at me and said "Mom your face and neck are very red". It was just before that I started to feel like a weight was coming down on me. I thought I am doing too much. I am on the couch now. I am at about 80% now. Not bad.

I did find out that the HER2 positive result was a good result because it offers more therapeutic options in the long term with Perjeta and Herceptin. So that is good.

I have been processing all of this. Spending a lot of time thinking about what this all means because it is so easy to go down the "what if" road. It's self indulgent to think about it and it's inappropriate (for now)...

So, most often, these are my thoughts...I resolve to LIVE my life. I am getting well with this medicine.  I am to feel good knowing that I am on the mend.  I am to take advantage of feeling well and good times.  I am to not waste time on sweating the small stuff or worrying about petty things or the "what if's".

I truly believe my breathing is already better which means it is truly working! Hot dog!  Lol! We will take this day by day, week by week, month to month, year to year.

I continue to feel God's presence and guidance. I thank you for your love and prayers!

First Treatment Done.

It's 6:38pm on Tuesday 6/7/16. The long dreaded first chemo treatment is over. It was definitely not as bad as I made it out to be in my mind.

Got there at 8:30am. Left at about 2:45pm. Had a room with a bed. Next time should be a little shorter. Got the needle in arm.. Perjeta first, then Herceptin, then premeds, then Taxotere.

Four years ago, there were two powerful drugs prior to getting Taxotere so I probably had a lot of residual effects from those. Now as far as chemo goes, the Taxotere is essentially by itself.  The other two drugs (Perjeta and Herceptin) are given intravenously but are in a different family of treatment- technically not chemo.  We are going to do this cocktail every 3 weeks for 3 rounds before we assess how it is working.  This is all a process, not necessarily 1 or 6 and done.

This is Stage 4 cancer. We are attempting to prevent growth of these cells and starve them to kill them. I believe this treatment plan will do that. From how I understand this process, once the current cancer is killed and I have the all clear, we will drop the Taxotere and I will continue on Perjeta and Herceptin (one or both) forever, every 3 weeks. With this, we will attempt to further starve any cells and prevent growth. It's sort of like what we have attempted to do with the Tamoxifen pill to block estrogen to the cancer for past 4 years.

...more tomorrow on how I am feeling and doing.

God is with us. Thank you for your love and prayers.

Round 2, Day 1- Amanda's Army of Angels Vs Cancer

OK, here we go...Day 1 (technically Day 7, I got the news on Tues 5/31) (absolutely surreal that I am writing this to you)

Quick story on how I got here...

In March 2016 (4 years and 4 mos after 1st diagnosis), I was coughing and then started experiencing shortness of breath and some wheezing.  I was up to running 6 miles a day and just like that, I couldn't do it anymore. I saw a Nurse Practitioner who gave me steroids, antibiotics, inhaler and none of it worked.  End of April, I called my oncologist, Dr. Rachel Harper with Lexington Clinic in Lexington, KY and she ordered a chest X-ray, Pulmonary function test- they were normal.  She ordered a CT scan to see if there was a clot from the Tamoxifen.  That's where she found enlarged lymph nodes that were causing the problem.  I got a PET scan a few days later to see if there was uptake anywhere else in my body from top to bottom.  The clusters of lymph nodes around my chest and lungs were the only "hot spots".  So, I got a biopsy shortly where the pathology showed that my cancer was, in fact, back in these areas. 

Doctor says its "very treatable".  This is good.  In the morning 6/7/16, I am starting a chemotherapy cocktail that will be intravenously injected Perjeta, Herceptin, and Taxotere.  I had the Taxotere in my last treatment.  I will lose my hair and have other stupid side effects, like nausea, losing fingernails eventually, etc.  I currently do not know how long we will be at this.  Right now, I will get this treatment every 3 weeks. 

Family are doing well (I think). We are all feeling a range of emotions at any given time.  I am overwhelmed, sad, happy, frustrated as heck, anxious, freaked out, impatient, encouraged...and more all at the same time, all the time.  I am sure Chris and Jack are especially feeling this same way.  We are doing a good job at keeping fear at bay and living our normal life.  As I have mentioned to some, our mode of operation is "normal".  I say that now, but I reserve the right to change that slightly after tomorrow's treatment.

Your love and prayers are appreciated. It is surreal that we are on this journey again.  If I haven't talked to you much, its because I can get very emotional.  I would tell you not to worry, but like Jack told me, "You are my mom, I am going to worry."  I think I am close to many of you out there who are going to worry.  I love you for it, but be encouraged.

Here we go again. Cancer is back!  Chemo was supposed to start today and it starts tomorrow 6/7 at 8:30am. I am testing this blogspot to see if it's working again and my friends can come on this journey once again!